Victoria Burger Blog

Big Wheel Burger | 341 Cook Street | 250.381.0050 | www.bigwheelburger.com

2012-01-14T14:06:00.000-08:00

Double Cheeseburger

$10

My god! Could it be? The Burger Blog bringing you a fresh review of a fresh new burger joint? After all these months? Don't get too excited, I promise you this will be the same old horseshit you've grown accustomed to from these eeeeeee-lectronic pages. Shall we start?

It's clear from the multitude of comments on this blog, and the personal accounts I've been getting from friends and family, that Big Wheel isn't what people were expecting. It begs the question, what did people think they were going to get from this place?

If you read any of the pre-opening interviews with Big Wheel, or followed them on Twitter, the taste of this burger should come as no surprise. It's simple, fresh fast food that tries to clone Shake Shack and similar beloved east-coast burger stands. I couldn't say if it's a successful clone, I haven't been to Shake Shack, but Big Wheel does serve up a good, albeit predictable, bit of meat and bun.

I think the predictable nature of this joint is what has upset people. There's nothing necessarily wrong with being a predictable burger joint, sometimes it's nice to know what to expect from your burger. The problem is somehow local meat-munchers envisioned something different from a place with such high-caliber names attached to it. Would it have been nice if Big Wheel was just an outlet for crazy Pig-style specials? Maybe, but what we've ended up with is good too.

To address a couple of the commenters from this blog; no Big Wheel does not taste a thing like McDonald's, and why would you ruin a burger like this by using anything other than American Cheddar? If anything, this burger could have used more processed cheese (I am a glutton though). I will admit it's a little cheeky to serve processed cheese at a place that champions the 100 mile diet on its website.

The patty is loosely formed using beef from Vancouver's Two Rivers Meats. Two Rivers is decent stuff, but I still say Pemberton Meadows is the best B.C. beef I've ever tasted. I'm going to go ahead and recommend getting a double here, just because the bun:burger ratio on the singles didn't quite look as good. Texture and consistency is nice, due to the fact the patties are loosely formed, but don't expect to have to wipe your chin after biting into this baby--it's not quite that greasy.

The bun is soft and sweet and the special sauce is good. If you're looking for a fast food comparison, I suppose this burger is somewhere between White Spot and a Wendy's Baconator. If you're sober I'd say it's better than those, if you're drunk maybe not.

Is this a great burger? No, but it takes a lot to be a great burger. I don't know if there are even five great burgers in Victoria. Big Wheel serves a good product that I'll be happy to eat again. I understand why people are disappointed though. It's not because Big Wheel's a bad burger joint. It's because we now have three dedicated burger joints in Victoria, and I'm not sure you can say any of them serve up the best burger in town.

VERDICT: If you're looking for a new king of Victoria burgers, this ain't it. What you will get is good, fresh fast food that should easily satisfy cravings.

Jawin' on Dem Airwaves With CBC Radio

2011-12-10T11:32:00.000-08:00

CBC Burger Blog Invu

Well it took me long enough to get this online eh? On the Island rang me up about two weeks ago to talk about the recent explosion of burger restaurants in Victoria. This interview isn't nearly as entertaining as the one Guy of the Buffet Blog did about three years ago (if I can find it I might re-up it), but maybe you'll enjoy it anyway. The last 30s or so of the interview were lost in the recording process. They were totally boring anyway.

On a related note--we've been getting a lot of anonymous comments regarding Bigwheel lately. About 90% of them are useless because they bash the french fries, but make no comments whatsoever about the burgers. I'll make a Bigwheel trip sometime soon. Just waiting for them to iron out any wet-around-the-ears kitchen issues.

That's all for now. Apologies for the lack of reviews lately. My two biggest burger buds don't live in town any more, so I don't get out as much as I used to.

Bigwheel Burger Teaser Menu

2011-11-12T22:14:00.000-08:00

Check it out and get excited! Looks like they're keeping the menu niiiiceeeee and simple at Bigwheel. $13.50 for burger, fries and shake? Not bad. Not as good as the $12 they originally intended that combo to be, but not bad.

ps. Thanks to @VictorianFood on Twitter for originally posting this photo.

Bin 4 Burger Lounge | Preview

2011-11-05T21:53:00.000-07:00

The Heritage

$10

add $1.50 for cheese

"Would you like that on a bun, or in a lettuce wrap?" Lettuce wrap? I hope this is just a question Bin 4 asks to weed out the losers. I hope everyone who answers "lettuce wrap" gets ridiculed until they are forced to leave through the back door. I know the EVIL LIFESTYLE SECTIONS of our national newspapers are trying to delude us into believing bread makes us fat and macarons are better than cupcakes, but burgers in lettuce wraps? THAT'S A BRIDGE TOO FAR MY FRIENDS!

Thankfully the last two buns in the kitchen had been saved for us. Apparently there are perks to being noticed as a burger blogger.

I won't offer a full review of Bin 4, as they've only been open a day, but I will say I enjoyed myself. "The Heritage"—topped with the traditional burger fix-ins, as well as a bacon aioli and some bold, 5-year aged cheddar—was actually grilled properly (check out that pink in the middle!) and definitely did not offend my palate. No real qualms with the brioche bun from Portofino either. The other burgers on the menu didn't look too overboard (bruschetta, avocado and back bacon is about as wild as it gets), and the elk burger special certainly looked interesting.

A month or two ago the TC popped a few questions to me about the recent burger joint boon in Victoria. They were curious as to whether or not I thought they'd all be successful, or if our burger market was about to become over-saturated. I have no doubt in my mind that Bin 4, Big Wheel, and Pink Bike will all have no trouble staying busy. They don't even have to be good. All these burger joints could be woefully mediocre, and they'd still be packed out. The options for truly superior dinner-hour burgers in this town are severely limited. It's nice to see new restaurateurs trying to remedy this.

VERDICT: I'll be back to check on Bin 4's progress. Assuming they maintain even the slightest level of consistency, they'll be just fine.

ps. Don't let the Earl's meets "hip cocktail lounge" vibe confuse you. Yes the waitresses are stereotypically good looking, and yes there might be guys next to you at the bar getting obliterated on tequila and muff divers, but Bin 4 does actually appear to care about burgers.

pps. Burgers at Bin 4 are 50% off every night after 9:00pm (you've gotta buy a drink too though).

Bin 4 Is Open!

2011-11-05T12:35:00.000-07:00

Victoria's newest burger joint is live! They had a soft open last night, and the grand opening is tonight. Looks like they'll be open with regular hours starting Sunday. Still no menu/photos of burgers online.

Excited!

Bubby's Kitchen | 355 Cook Street | 250.590.8915 | www.bubbyskitchen.ca

2011-10-30T15:28:00.000-07:00

Deluxe Burger

$11

My goodness gracious, what do we have here? I can't believe it. This burger is actually pretty fuckin' good. Look at that cheese up there, will you? It ain't sweaty, it ain't zapped to a crust: it's just straight up on a Goldilocks tip.

The Pemberton Meadows beef used for the patty? It's potentially the best B.C. beef I've ever had in a burger. I know that's a bold statement, maybe I need to double check it, but it was seriously almost Alberta good.

The bun? It could have been toasted a little more, but talk about fresh. There aren't many burger buns in town that come fresher than this one (Aura and Pink Bike would be its closest rivals).

The sauce? It's a basil & shallot aioli that tastes great, but is probably better suited to fish. Either way, at least it was applied to the bun correctly (in big globs).

Have I given you enough information on this one? Yes? Ok? Great, now go out and try it.

VERDICT: I've had crushes on more Bubby's Bakery counter girls than I count. Now I have a crush on their burger too.

Update: Big Wheel Burger and Bin 4 Burgers

2011-10-30T15:20:00.000-07:00

Bin 4 has set this Saturday as its opening date. Big Wheel plans to open in three weeks. Big Wheel is now on Twitter @bigwheelburger and Bin 4 has started building a website. Big Wheel also has a website here. Menu coming soon!

As always, you can probably take these targeted opening dates with a grain of salt. Nonetheless, a new era in Victoria burger culture is not far off.

Vancouver Burger Roundup | Nimby Burger | Save-On-Meats | Au Petit Chavignol

2011-10-02T14:00:00.000-07:00

Damn dudes, it's been a while hasn't it? I apologise, but shit's been hairy. Life movin' at full speed and all that. Enough about me though, let's get into some Vancouver burgers shall we?

Nimby Burger | 2210 Cornwall Avenue | 604.734.3589 | www.nimbyburger.com

Nimby w/Cheese

$4.50

When Nimby entered the Vancouver burger scene a couple years ago it was touted as an In 'N' Out clone. I've only been to In 'N' Out once, and it was years ago, so I can't really speak to that comparison.

What I can say is this is primo fast food. It's a thin, griddled patty, which is all good—thin is usually better in terms of maintaining juiciness. The pickles are exceptional, and exactly what you want as a topping in a burger like this. If I was to compare this to an American chain offering, I'd say Nimby is a more expensive—but better—Dick's.

VERDICT: It's not a world-beater, but you can't expect a whole lot more in terms of fast food. This one satisfies even if it doesn't necessarily surprise.

Nimby is now closed for the season, but you can get the Nimby Burger off the late-night menu at Local (which has the same address as the Nimby Burger stand).

Save-On-Meats | 43 West Hastings | 605.569.3568 | www.saveonmeats.ca

Save-On-Meats Burger

$6.50

Alright, so I'm not going to get into the entire history of Save-On-Meats. Let's just say it's a legendary Vancouver institution that has always been infamous for its burger. After 54 years mannin' the meat-grinder, the original owner decided to retire in 2009. Save-On-Meats re-opened this year with new owners, a new kitchen, a completely redesigned dining area, and a new burger.

Sadly I have no history with the old Save-On-Meats burger. From old reviews and pictures, I can see the new burger is drastically different from the old one: different bun, thicker patty, different condiment mix too maybe. The other big difference, as I understand it, the original burger was two patties by default. The new one is a single.

Wow, for a guy who said he wasn't going to give any history, I sure gave a lot of history. Right, review time now.

This one's a little odd, but I don't mind it. The BBQ sauce has a weird Branson Pickle vibe to it which makes this unit feel like almost more of a meatloaf sandwich than a burger. The bun is sort of muffiny in texture, but hey—it's all in keeping with the weirdness.

VERDICT: This burger has character, and I enjoyed it, but it's probably not worth standing in the Boxing Day Sale type line ups that Save-On-Meats seems to routinely have.

Au Petit Chavignol | 843 East Hastings | 604.255.4218 | www.aupetitchavignol.com

Cheeseburger $12

Add Lettuce and Tomato $1

Add Bacon $1.50

Ah, and now we get to the package the king of Vancouver burger review, Andrew Morrison, calls the best of the city (and I did choose my cheese and toppings based on his recommendations).

This is a tough one to peg down. I mean it's definitely good, but does it leap out and grab you the way truly memorable burgers do? You know when someone describes a chick you go to school with as "such a nice girl"? Everyone agrees she's arrestingly beautiful, does not offend your senses in any way, and makes you feel slightly better about yourself when she notices you. This burger is kind of like that. It tastes good, you can't really criticise it, and you feel better having known it.

The thing is no one ever really says, "HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE TO MEET THIS NICE GIRL! SERIOUSLY DUDE, SHE IS SUCH A NICE GIRL!" Everyone loves the nice girl, but no one's ever really fuckin' amped to see her. I mean she's great, but she's never going to be your best friend. That's the thing with this burger too—I don't think I could ever not enjoy seeing it, but I could never have the relationship with it that I have with my best burger pals. Maybe, like the nice girl, we just don't have enough in common. It's clean and I'm a fucking dirtball.

Ah Jesus, I'm using girls as metaphors for burgers again and making no goddamn sense to anyone but myself, let's just skip to the verdict shall we?

VERDICT: Impossible not to enjoy, but lacking the joie de vivre of the greaseball burgers I generally call my friends.

Moderne Boob Tube

2011-09-04T10:29:00.001-07:00

Vancouver's Moderne Burger is being used as a filming location for Fox's new show Alcatraz. Look for Moderne on your TV screens sometime on a Monday night in 2012 between 9 and 10pm.

Yet Another New Burger Joint Opening Soon in Victoria

2011-09-01T17:14:00.000-07:00

Mafia Burger opens September 8th in what was once the Traveller's Inn at 1961 Douglas Street (now it's the Capital City Center Hotel). They'll be using island beef from The Village Butcher in Oak Bay. Here's hoping they'll also be using bacon from VB neighbours The Whole Beast.

Here are some of the more interesting and exciting options that will be on their menu when they open:

Tarantino – Smoked bacon, cream cheese and….. peanut butter 12
The Godfather – Eggs benedict....on a burger. 13
The Capone – Peanut Butter, bacon, jack cheese, fried onion & battered jalapenos 13

Oh yah, they've also challenged DJs at the Zone to engage in a rap battle. Hottest 16 gets a burger named after them. Clever marketing ploy Mafia Burger. I salute you.

Here's Jon Williams entry in the battle.

Corner Cafe & Deli | 734 Aldebury Street | Esquimalt | 250.590.7997

2011-09-01T08:44:00.000-07:00

Deluxe Burger

$8 (Combo w/Fries)

$6 (Solo)

As a kid, trips to Chilliwack were synonymous with Taco Time. Trips to Taco Time eventually became synonymous with stomach aches. Drinking cream sodas the size of killer whale tanks apparently isn't the best thing for your health when you're a 9-year-old. Whatever. Taco Time meat seasoning, Mexi-Fries and Crustos were the height of modern culinary achievement as far as my little mind was concerned. Fuck a stomach ache: load up the tray.

It is my history with Taco Time that makes me fond of this offering from Corner Cafe & Deli. A recent article on the eatery pointed to the burger as a signature item of the Ukrainian couple that run the place. Eastern Europeans must love their cheap Mexican fast food, because this burger tastes almost exactly like it was spiced with a package of Taco Time fajita seasoning. That might put people off, but I dug it.

What really makes this package great value for money is the fact it is cooked masterfully temperature-wise. You can't really tell from the picture, but there is the slightest shade of pink to the meat. Just enough to make a true burger lover happy, while not making the average idiot scream in horror because they think they're eating "undercooked" meat. Seriously people—restaurants that serve burgers in the medium range are not trying to kill you.

What else is there to mention here? A well-placed bit of pickle adds a bit of vibrancy to the unit (believe it or not), and the always crowd-pleasing American cheddar is present. The kaiser is nice and soft, and the mayo/red onion/lettuce mix is appropriately simple. I'd definitely go back for this one. Certainly near the top of the charts when it comes to cheapo Victoria burgers.

VERDICT: Easily better than Bimo across the street. I've got a mad Taco Time craving now though.

Bin 4 Update

2011-08-18T17:48:00.000-07:00

Looks like Bin 4 may be using Portofino Bakery buns for their burgers. I have no problem with this. They're also on Facebook now. I look forward to seeing pictures there of things I will be able to eat soon.

Marble Arch Fish and Chips | 3468 Tillicum Road | 250.386.7141 ‎

2011-08-12T16:51:00.000-07:00

Cheeseburger

$3.70

It may seem like little thought goes into a burger like the one at Marble Arch, but there is a very specific topping formula that burgers in this genre follow.

That formula is shredded lettuce+mayo+American cheddar+onion+burger relish. It's a simple formula, and it doesn't always work, but when it does you end up with a comfort food meal that's as classic as they come.

Thankfully the unit at Marble Arch successfully employs the well-worn formula unique to cheapskate burgers like this one. Why is it a success? Two reasons: salt and the bun. The pre-fab patty is generously salted when it's on the grill. I'm talking seriously generous. Like saying, "We'll eat me first," and then cutting off your legs and feeding them to your friends as you fight to stay alive after an ill-planned hiking trips gets you lost in the mountains for five months. Yep, it's that generous. But when you're trying to balance out the sweetness of burger relish, you need to be a little generous with the salt.

As for the bun—it's the perfect match for this unit. You take a bite and there's no resistance. You don't taste bun when you bite into this unit: you taste burger. The whole burger. That's the key. In a burger like this each bite has to hold the flavours of every part of the whole. A bite too heavy on bun and condiments will be sickly sweet. A bite with too much patty is likely to be overly salty, and texturally unappealing.

So is this the best cheap burger in Victoria? Not quite. I'm a mustard man, and therefore I prefer the burgers at Lambrick or Carnarvon Park Little League, but Marble Arch is only a whisker's width away from matching what makes those burgers great. You can't expect a burger like this to win any awards, but you can't deny there's something undeniably enjoyable about such an unpretentious package.

VERDICT: Cheap? Check. Doesn't suck? Check. Actually fun to eat for a reason other than it being cheap? Check. That's a lot of checks.

Update: New Burger Joints in Victoria

2011-08-12T15:50:00.000-07:00

Bin 4 Burgers—self described as "Victoria's first Burger Lounge . . . Local Owners - Using Local Products - Specializing In . . . you guessed it, GOURMET BURGERS!"—plans to open late September/early October in what used to be JB's Cafe on Yates (next to the Pizza Hut). Bin 4's burger maestro is Mike Ringland, who I assume is the same Mike Ringland of Sauce.

The thought of two new local burger joints opening here this fall is almost too exciting for me to take. And if that wasn't enough; Fatburger plans to open October 15.

Belated Brasserie L'Ecole Burger Update

2011-08-08T11:06:00.001-07:00

As of approximately a month ago, the burger and fries are now a daily menu item at Brasserie. Thank god. I was getting pretty tired of all the best burgers in town being specials, or lunch only numbers.

The Old Triangle Irish Alehouse | 89 University Avenue | Charlottetown, PE | 902.892.5200 | www.oldtriangle.com

2011-07-30T16:00:00.000-07:00

Canadian Bacon and Egg Burger

$13

P.E. Island has a beef industry. Who knew? Well the cows for one—farmers too. I am not, however, a cow or a farmer, and therefore the P.E.I. cattle industry was completely unknown to me until recently. I'm glad I've been brought into the light.

I don't believe The Old Triangle entered the inaugural P.E.I. Burger Love sweepstakes this year. If they didn't, the amount of restaurants using local beef on P.E.I. is amazing (well over a dozen, most in Charlottetown). I made a brave attempt to try the burger at Merchantman Pub, one of the Burger Love winners, but the line-up was too long, and my sister assured me it wouldn't have been worth the wait (not only was the line-up long, but restaurants in Charlottetown seem to have notoriously slow kitchens).

The Canadian Bacon and Egg Burger is no award winner, but man is that local beef good. The char-grilled patty is a brawny bastard that heroically manages to mount an inspiring flavour rebellion against the shitty bun that acts as its oppressor. Repeatedly the patty is attacked by the devils of poor burger construction, but nothing can kill it: not a lack of condiments (mayo and mustard), not the largely unnoticeable Swiss cheese and back bacon (done peameal style)—nothing.

I'm not going to get all loopy and say P.E.I. beef beats what Alberta has to offer, but it makes a better patty than the majority of Vancouver Island cattle I've sampled. Too bad The Old Triangle's lil' soldier of a patty isn't surrounded by better troops.

VERDICT: Great patty, average burger.

ps. Dear Helen: Why did you take me to a chain restaurant to get a burger?

Pig/Zambri's Burger Joint Has a Name: Bigwheel Burger

2011-07-28T10:07:00.000-07:00

Times Colonist has all the details. Also an update on Fatburger, and news of a Burger King coming to downtown.

This quote from one of the Bigwheel proprietors is bang on:

"It would seem that there are a lot of places to go for burgers in the city, but for a really good burger, there's only a few," said Calen (Bigwheel) McNeil, one of the partners from Zambri's.

Confirmed: Gourmet Burger Joint Headed for Cook Street Village

2011-07-19T00:10:00.000-07:00

Yep, these are exciting times we live in people! Zambri's is opening a gourmet burger joint in Cook Street Village where the old laundromat is. This little dream come true will be open in approximately three months if everything goes according to plan.

The only way life can get better now is if Breaking Bad kills off Skyler.

Oystercatcher Seafood Bar and Grill | 104 Manson Road | 250.537.5041

2011-07-18T14:05:00.000-07:00

$13

Perhaps it was just the deliciousness of another Canucks seventh-game Stanley Cup defeat seeping into the burger, but this was pretty good fare coming from what could have easily emerged as a waterfront tourist trap. Whooo, did you get through that sentence without having to take too many breaths? Excellent! Now that I've made fun of my own sentence structure, let's zip through this review shall we?

Most idiots think bigger=better with burger patties, but Oystercatcher knows the truth is more=better. Instead of serving up a monster half-pound patty that would no-doubt end up dryer than death valley dirt, they give you two quarter pound patties. This allows for the same amount of gorging would a monster patty have been present, while ensuring the burger is not too dry. Clever n'est pas?

The bun:burger ratio may have been off, but at least that bun was toasted to perfection.

And that's all I have to say about that.

VERDICT: A decent nibble if you're on a June vacation to SSI

New Design

2011-07-14T10:25:00.000-07:00

Somebody finally complained, so I finally changed the design of the blog. Goodbye turquoise night.

*Sigh*

Burger Rumours

2011-07-13T21:55:00.000-07:00

Hearing lots of whispers on Twitter these days. Gourmet burger lounge opening at Yates and Vancouver next to the Pizza Hut? Pig and Zambris co-running an eatery in the old laundromat space in Cook Street Village . . . possibly burger-centric?

All rumours right now. I'll let you know if any reliable sources confirm anything.

Salt Spring Island Organic Grass-Fed Beef

2011-06-19T12:42:00.000-07:00

Night Owl Farm on Salt Spring sells organic ground beef for $5.25/lb. Supposedly they sell out quickly, but the sign advertising organic beef was still on their farm gate a few days ago.

Pig BBQ Joint | MacDaddy Burger Special

2011-06-19T11:59:00.000-07:00

$14

Pig's burger specials often walk a fine line between sinfully satisfying and just plain silly. The MacDaddy enters silly territory. Now normally if someone told me a Pig special was over-the-top, I'd simply dismiss them as a happy, well-rounded individual who doesn't need grease to hold together the shattered mess that is their self-esteem. In other words—a person who has no business eating this kind of food in the first place. So I'll understand if you don't trust me when I say this one is over-the-top.

Basically a variation of the PigMac; the MacDaddy adds pork belly and extremely generous doses of Pig sauce and honey mustard to the mac & cheese. It only takes half a bite to squirt an entire mac and cheese side-dish from the burger to your tray. Normally I would thank them for their generosity, but the glut of Pig sauce turns the mac and cheese into something somewhat revolting. Forgive me, but I like my mac and cheese to taste like cheese (I never did understand people who garnish with half a bottle of ketchup).

Hmmm, maybe I've touched on something here. Maybe this burger isn't over-the-top after all. Maybe removing the Pig sauce would make it okay. Or maybe it's even too much for those whose mental health depends on compulsive over-eating. *Sigh*, I guess you'll just have to judge for yourself the next time this puppy comes down the ol' Pig pipe.

Jackalope Bistro | 760A Yates Street | 778.430.5673 | www.jackalope.ca

2011-06-18T17:40:00.000-07:00

Apple Jackalope
$8

The unwritten rules of food reviewing suggest thou shalt never review a restaurant that is less than a month old. That being being said, I'll try to keep this post more informational than critical.

Jackalope is a little square of a place located at the Yates Street entrance to what the punks of our fair city once referred to as "Piss Alley". You'd expect greasy drunk food in a place like this, but Jackalope is a tad cleaner than that.

All Jackalope burgers are made with buns bought fresh daily from Cobb's Bakery. The patty is formed from chuck which is bought from the grocery store (I'm guessing Market on Yates) and then ground in house. Eventually Jackalope plans to have a butcher grind their meat for them because the grinding operation takes up too much space in their tiny kitchen.

Adorned with Granny Smith apple, ranch dressing and cheddar cheese—this burger is at least unique. Ultimately, however, I think the patties here are better suited to the mustard and ketchup which is used on the Classic Jackalope. The patties retain a bit of juiciness (not sure what grind ratio is used here), but this burger is far from a gut-bomb. It's an interesting experiment, and Jackalope is off to an okay start, but a few tweaks are needed before they can be called a great local burger spot.

VERDICT: If we're lucky Jackalope will one day cement itself as the low-cost alternative to Pink Bicycle. They'll have to get through some growing pains first though.

AHT Recognizes The Pink Bicycle's Poutine Burger

2011-06-08T14:06:00.001-07:00

Congrats to Pink Bike for getting kudos from the internet's ultimate burger blog.

Finally Pictures of the Elusive Bugaboo Burger!

2011-06-07T12:57:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Colin for the pictures. Bugaboo is just off Highway 19A in Qualicum Bay. I'm unaware of the landmarks that surround it.

More on "Undercooked" Meat and Law

2011-06-04T11:02:00.000-07:00

This is a great post on where to get burgers cooked to order in Vancouver. There's also a robust conflab in the comments section re: law and serving burgers rare or medium rare. Consensus seems to be their is "no language in the books explicitly barring the serving of raw meat," but "each establishment needs to address the method preparation of any raw meat specifically in a written document that they have to submit to the health authority . . ."

Fort Street Cafe | 742 Fort Street | 250.382.3130 | www.fortcafe.com

2011-06-04T10:08:00.000-07:00

The Fort
$12

A reader of this blog once requested I spend more time discussing whether the burgers I was reviewing were over/undercooked. In Victoria, it's safe to assume that at least 2/3 of the restaurants you go to will at least slightly overcook your burger. This is not the fault of the restaurant, it is the fault of the consumer.

Give a burger with even a hint of pink to someone in Canada and they'll probably think you're poisoning them. Thus the tendency for some restaurants to overcook their burgers. Despite what you may have heard, there is no BC law against serving rare burgers. BC Food Premises Regulation simply states: "Every operator of food premises that processes food must ensure that the food is processed in a manner that makes it safe to eat. " Granted Health Canada repeats the mantra "your burger's done at 71"—a cooking temperature that will yield a medium-well/well done burger—but there's no law I know of in BC that says you HAVE to cook to that temperature. I'm not aware of any local bylaws that designate meat cooking temperatures either. Please let me know if you find one, I'm willing to admit I'm wrong here.

Anyway, this is all just a very long preamble designed to set up the statement that the Fort Burger is slightly overdone. I won't hold it against them too much—it's something to be expected in this town, and perhaps this country, and it probably speaks to the preference of a lot of casual burger eaters. Doesn't mean I have to like it though.

The patty itself is a 6oz homemade number that is just a tiny bit sausagey, but not disgustingly salty. This burger's really all about the Cambozola cheese. It absolutely dominates this unit. So if you're a Cambozola fan, you'll probably dig this one, if not, you won't.

The burger comes on a roll. It's a decent one, but I prefer a super squishy Portuguese bun if I'm going to eat a burger on a roll. The condiment mix is highlighted by something called "Frelish", which is basically your standard burger relish.

There's really not much else to say, but I will provide some Fort Burger history. An old menu picture posted on UrbanSpoon suggests this burger used to come with bacon and blue cheese, and it used to be just nine bucks. I can't tell you which incarnation was better, and I'll hold myself back from making any assumptions.

VERDICT: Succumbs to the same pratfalls of many other local burgers, but manages to be a little above average.

New Burger-centric Bistro Open on Yates: Jackalope Bistro

2011-05-24T11:38:00.001-07:00

This place just opened days ago. Dem doors be yawnin' 'til 3am on weekends and looks like prices are all $10 or under. In the words of the Onion AV Club . . . we remain cautiously optimistic.

Bugaboo Burger's | Qualicum Bay | 6010 West Island Highway (19A 5min South of Lighthouse Country) | 250.338.3568 (?) (No Review, Just Info)

2011-05-07T16:38:00.000-07:00

I've been sitting on these photos for quite a while now, as I was hoping someone would also send me a picture of the burger itself. Sadly that hasn't happened yet.

The cart has just reopened for the season, so I figure now is as good a time as any to finally post these pics.

Looks like a cool place. The signature burger is a beef patty topped with havarti cheese, grilled green peppers and "19A sauce". Sounds like a winner. I hope to give it a try sometime this summer.

ps. Thanks to Jaimie and Colin for the photos.

FYI: Relish Food and Coffee

2011-05-07T16:29:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately their burger is not a daily menu item.

Wish I Went to Colwood Today

2011-05-07T16:26:00.001-07:00

Doritos. Awesome.

FYI: This is the Franchise Burger from Pig

To Our American Friends . . .

2011-05-03T16:49:00.000-07:00

Happy National Hamburger Month!

Jaws Be Yappin'

2011-04-28T18:46:00.001-07:00

A lengthy conversation has started over at Reddit as to where the best burger in Victoria is. Most of the answers are predictable, though I am pretty surprised to see Paul's Motor Inn on the list. I haven't dined at Paul's in a good six years, but they easily had the worst food in town back then.

Can anyone confirm they've turned it around?

ps. Dear Reddit Users: A tuna tataki burger is not a burger. Neither is a vege burger. These are just sandwiches that look like burgers. Don't be fooled by false marketing!

Pig Burger Special Roundup: Week Ending April 15th

2011-04-26T12:29:00.000-07:00

PigMac
$10

My first experience with a downtown Pig burger special, and it's a bit of a fuck up. Luckily Pig is good enough to fuck up and still be enjoyable. The patty was clearly overcooked, but at least it was overcooked in that dad-forgot-to-check-the-barbecue kind of way that tweaks as much fondness as frustration.

The hot sauce gives this one a flavour similar to the Buffalo Buffalo mini-burgers which were served up at last year's Burger Bash. Mac and cheese and dill pickle? It works as a curiosity, but it's no triumph. Probably the least exciting Pig burger special I've had to date. Wasn't horrible though.

Rio Grande Burger
$15

Based on the name, I was expecting this to be a Bobcat Bite clone, but it's something much different. The pulled pork is overkill—its texture and flavour smother the beef patty—but this was still a fun eat. A pretty fantastic substitution for self-worth. The green salsa was a simple, fresh highlight. Most of the toppings were corralled effectively enough by the bun, but I was left with a salsa, tortilla strip, cheese and pulled pork salad at the end of it all. That's ok. A bit of shrapnel on the plate just means you're having fun.

VERDICT: Pig Colwood is the pricier, better burger bet.

Lunchbox Laboratory | 1253 Thomas Street | Seattle, WA | 206.621.1090 | www.lunchboxlaboratory.com

2011-04-16T14:19:00.000-07:00

The Smoker
$14 USD

My God. It's so soft. It's so soft it could make rubbing your face against fresh laundry feel like cheek-surfing three miles down a gravel road after being knocked off a motorcycle by a pterodactyl. I want to use it as a pillow.

My friends all look at me. Waiting for me to say something, breathlessly leaning forward in anticipation of a critique. They pester me as their own meals go cold. This is what you get for dining with women. They don't understand me. They think I'm just having dinner. The truth is I'm finally on a first date with a burger babe I've been watching from the shadows for ages. Silently salivating over for years. We're locked away in our own imaginary room, getting ready to make love while my dining partners pound at our door like drunk teen girls trying to get into the bathroom at a house party.

The kobe/chuck patty meets my lips and I start to question if kobe beef truly is the insufferable fad I always thought it was. They say when your heart's on fire, smoke gets in your eyes. In this case it's smoked pepper mayo, and it's gettin' all over my taste-buds. It's not the loveliest flame, but it's more than enough for a one night stand. The copious amounts of mayo, havarti and onion ensure our affair is a messy one. Six pieces of bacon adorn this little mama. That's the average for a babe at Lunchbox. The honey-cured strips are so good you'll wish the average was double that.

It's tough to give a post-coital review of my encounter with The Smoker. She was a great time, one of my best, but I still have eyes for other girls.

VERDICT: It would be hyperbolic to say The Smoker is perfect, but she's the closest I've come in quite some time.

Fatburger Destined for Victoria

2011-04-01T20:31:00.000-07:00

Let's hope this isn't an April Fool's prank.

Now We're Three Years

2011-03-27T13:01:00.000-07:00

Zoo-E-Mama! The Victoria Burger Blog is now three years old! Sure, we barely post anymore—but we're still in the game!

Expect a new Lunchbox Lab review sometime soon. I also plan to hit Mole and Relish sometime in the nearish future.

While you're waiting for fresh Victoria Burger Blog content, check out this newish Vancouver blog. Certainly nice to see the Vancouver Burger blogging scene finally take off.

Christie's Carriage House Pub | 1739 Fort Street | 250.598.5333 | http://members.shaw.ca/christiespub

2011-03-05T14:54:00.000-08:00

Crunch Burger
$13

Can we all agree adding chips to a sandwich makes it infinitely better? Toss some Doritos into a ham sandwich and you'll be whistlin' dixie for days. The same is generally true for burgers, although the chip/burger combo becomes much more enjoyable in a BBQ cookout setting.

Despite the lack of charcoal pits and styrofoam cups; the chip infusion is a welcome alteration to the Christie's "Classic" burger as well.

The rippled Lay's give this number a much needed second texture. Take them away and you've got a bun and burger patty that are similarily chewy, and almost indistinguishable from each other texture-wise.

If only they could make that patty stick out a little more: perhaps then this burger may tweak glittering recollections of past chip-sandwich glory. Sadly, as is, there just aren't enough levels of diversity in this baby to make it truly exciting.

VERDICT: Fond childhood memories not quite being teased out by this unit.

The Office Lounge | 759 Yates Street | 250.590.5253 | http://theofficelounge.ca

2011-02-05T13:39:00.000-08:00

Beef and Cheddar Burger
$10? $11? I forgot to write it down, but it's in that neighbourhood

This is a bit of a White Spot clone, albeit a fairly satisfying one. The tomato relish/aioli mix is what gives this offering the Nat Bailey air which anyone who regularly dines with their grandma/on BC Ferries is familiar with. That's not a bad thing, it's actually rather comfort providing.

The bun selection here is perfect: a light and squishy number, with a hint of focaccia flavour, that stands in good ratio to the 6oz flame-grilled patty. Most of the burgers in our fair city would be greatly improved by switching to this bun, or one similar to it.

Don't have much else to say about this burger. It truly does taste almost exactly like a Triple-O—just fresher and for a different scene.

VERDICT: White Spot with a skinny tie.

Willie's Bakery | 537 Johnson Street | 250.381.8414 | www.williesbakery.com

2011-01-17T15:43:00.000-08:00

All Beef Burger
$12
(add $1 for cheese)
Lunch Only

Is there any greater victim of its own success than the hamburger? A dish so popular that every restauarant within a 10 mile radius of an American tourist is compelled to serve it. Willie's is such a restaurant. A place that seems to be serving its burger more out of compulsion rather than love of the meal.

The homemade half-pound patty is quite sawdusty, with a sweet and timid honeyesque flavour that likely comes from the onion that is mixed into it. The bun, advertised as a homemade ciabatta, tastes as if it has been sitting on the shelf for at least a day. The lettuce is fresh, but do I need the whole head? No, no not really. I don't really know what else to say. No amount of home sauce could have saved this one. Just a real sad tasting affair.

VERDICT: Stick with the pancakes.

ps. For history's sake, I suppose I should give the old ingredient list for this burger which dates back to the heady days of late 2009:

A homemade ½ lb patty with BBQ sauce, mushroom, lettuce, tomato, onion,
pickles, mustard & mayo served on a sourdough bun.

Sliders Cedar Hill | 3115 Cedar Hill Road | 250.595.2624 | www.slidersbar.ca

2011-01-08T10:15:00.000-08:00

The Stampeder
$10
(add $1.50 each for Cheese and Bacon)

I couldn't have expected less from this place. Oh I know that's unfair, but come on—3115 Cedar Hill Road has changed tenants more times than Disneyland has had parades. Turns out I'm the dick though—but you already knew that—cause Sliders ain't so bad.

Sure the cheese is melted into oblivion—to the point where it looks like the Toxic Avenger's face—and yah the bacon was a bit slouchy, but I still enjoyed this burger. The patty has a thin, griddled shell that contains a glut of Alberta Angus with just a touch of that Chinese-Canadian consistency I have become so familiar with. I'm sure others can't stand the gelatinous style of the Chinese-Canadian patty, but I've kinda grown to enjoy it. Perhaps these patties prey on my nationalistic side—they aren't quite right, but they seem to be unique to our country. It should also be pointed out that the patty at Sliders is not nearly as Jello-y as the one at Gathering Place. The fact Sliders gives a nod instead of a full-on head bang to the Chinese-Canadian style is what makes it kinda lovable despite its faults. Worth a look.

VERDICT: Whaddyaknow, they don't suck.

ps. I didn't order sliders, but from what I could see at other tables, Sliders was, just like every other place in Victoria, serving mini-burgers, not sliders. Few, that enough dismissive commas for you?

The Cow Who Wanted to Be a Hamburger

2011-01-02T17:52:00.000-08:00

This short film is being screened during the Victoria International Film Fest next month. It is described as "a children's fable about the power of advertising, the meaning of life and ultimately the test of a mother's love."

Let's all hope the cow's dream comes true and he becomes a burger at the end.

Olympic View Golf Club | Forester's Bistro Bar | 643 Latoria Road | 250.474.3673

2011-01-01T11:31:00.000-08:00

Olympic View Burger
$14

There may be something here eventually, but at this point we're stuck with a burger that isn't fully realized. The AAA beef patty is like that kid who never goes to school, and is but a hen's tooth away from flunking out, but he draws really wicked pictures of naked ladies and wizards and shit. You know he's got talent, but dude just isn't trying hard enough.

The slightly underachieving patty is a real shame, because it's supporting cast isn't so bad. In fact if the cheddar/mozzarella cheese blend didn't taste so cheap, this would be a pretty good burger. Oh well, not everyone can be valedictorian right?

VERDICT: A few steps from true success.

John's Place Update

2010-12-07T18:57:00.000-08:00

Received this in the comments a few days back from someone who I assume is connected to John's, though the post was anonymous:

"We have completely transformed our two burgers. One is stuffed with blue cheese and the other is real cheddar."

I'd say the first transformation has potential. I'll check it out eventually.

Pig Fatty Melt

2010-12-02T14:29:00.000-08:00

WOW is this a belated review. I ate this literally months ago, which is why I'll only make two comments:

First: Holy shit, tone down the toast here Pig. I mean seriously, Tom Sawyer could have travelled down the Mississippi on these rafts. The sandwiches in a Fatty Melt need to be small, lest the beef get completely lost.

Second: Adding banana peppers to the grilled cheese is a stroke of genius. Magnificent twist Pig. Kudos.

Pluto's | 1150 Cook Street | 250.385.4747

2010-12-02T13:45:00.000-08:00

Beef Burger
$10
add $1 each for cheese and bacon

What we have here is an anomaly: a diner that proudly advertises a lean burger. And not just any lean burger: a burger so lean that, even with a little pink, it still manages to be drier than dreads. You see, generally, the advantage of a burger with a little pink in it is the juiciness factor. Here, however, no such luck.

Back in 2004 a Times Colonist tasting panel rated Pluto's burgers as third best in the city (falling in behind Fairfield Fish and Chips and Milestones). Pluto's also received an honorable mention in the reader's choice write-in poll. I'm not prepared to give it the same ranking. The bun is a nice, soft number, but that's where the joy ends. The charbroiled patty is of average quality taste-wise, and lacks the juiciness, or the good accompanying condiment which would overcome the ho-hummery (just a smattering of mayo adorns the bun here). Other elements such as bacon and cheese are not memorable enough to mention. Like so many other burgers in Victoria, this one just isn't worth talking much about.

VERDICT: Not top ten, not bottom ten, not notable.

Blog Collision! Ed Sum From Two Hungry Blokes Tries the Pink Bicycle Poutine Burger

2010-11-19T16:30:00.000-08:00

Editor's Note: Hello world. Today we have frequent burger blog contributor Ed Sum with us representing his very own blog Two Hungry Blokes. Pink Bicycle first introduced a poutine burger to their patrons somewhere between a year and a year and half ago. The most recent incarnation of the special features bison instead of beef. I meant to get this up while the special was still on, but I fucked up. Y'all got the background now? Y'all ready for a collision?

AND NOW SOME CHOICE REMARKS FROM EDMUND SUM!!!!!!!!

Imagine my surprise when I heard of Pink Bicycle's weekly special, a Poutine Bison Burger, on Facebook. I have to tip my hat to Darryl LeCraw for bringing me the news.

I immediately messaged my buddy Don from the Victoria Burger Blog and said we have to check this out. I called up James, and he had to work …

“Well, it’s your loss and our weight-gain,” I said.

Dining on gourmet style burgers is pricey, and it's not something I'd do regularly. But this time I had to bend the rules. And with locally grown bison from up island tasting better than what I've had before, I thought this meal wasn’t too bad. It wasn't perfect either, since true bovinae need huge fields to graze in, rather than the close confines of a space like Vancouver Island.

At least Island Bison is improving. What I tried before wasn’t all that good, and it’s only fair to keep on trying until the company gets it right. That holds true for Pink Bicycle too. I normally think of this place as over-rated, but after today I think they’re moving in the right direction—truffle fries as a regular menu item being one reason why.

The flavour is all in the oil, and if the fries weren’t well-done, I’d have said they’re a step above the norm. Hours later, the aftertaste I’m left burping is great!

As for the burger itself, the taste is in all in the warm swarthy gravy—it was slathered over the noodle-like fries. These fine strips were nicely done and the light crisp works over the soft patty that I nibbled on.

The bison itself did taste a bit on the dry side, and I wished it was bigger. For what Pink charges (including tip, I paid $20), one would hope they don’t skimp on patty size, but they do. I was left wondering where the rest of the bison meat roamed off to. They certainly weren't grazing outside, and what I had left were a few bite-size pieces of bun with traces of gravy.

At least the quality of the bread was top notch. It was nicely toasted to sandwich my meat. Curiously, they didn't give me a slice of tomato. Don got the all the luck and I snagged the sliver he set aside and placed it onto my burger. While he doesn't like tomato on his burgers, I savour them.

But when it was forgotten for my serving, to err is human. For any hamburger, I feel the staples (red onion, lettuce and tomato) must be there to bind it all together. I was expecting an artery clogging meal, and it barely made a dent. Well, maybe in my waist-line but that's nothing a good trek through the Western Nebraska Great Plains won't cure. Maybe there I'll find some real wild bison to satisfy my meat cravings.

AND NOW OUR FEARLESS LEADER GIVES HIS TWO CENTS!!!!!

Right, so I had a wonderfully witty bit of prose prepared for this posting, but sadly I pressed backspace and lost it. I'm much to lazy to attempt to recreate it, so I'll just make a couple of replies to Ed's critique.

Firstly: the thought that dining on burgers at Pink Bicyle is more expensive than the norm—it isn't. I believe the Bison Poutine Burger was $14+tax. This is actually cheaper than a lot of pubs, and is now around average for most restaurants. Recession's over, burgers are getting expensive. It's a cold world out there.

Second: the thought that the patty was too small. I think this was just your eyes playing tricks on you Ed. Normally I'm not too upset with the bun:burger ratio of Pink Bike's offerings, but on this trip it was readily apparent that there was too much bun. This isn't, however, because Pink Bike's patties are any smaller than normal. The patty looked small between the bun, but it was certainly bigger than some of the patties I've had at Pink Bike when it's the end of the day and they're running out of beef in the kitchen.

Finally a thought of my own:

Though my plea for a poutine burger, made via this blog, was to Pig, it was nice to see another restaurant step up to the plate. Was the Bison Poutine Burger all I'd hoped for? No, not really. If you're going for gluttonly, why not use real french fries instead of shoestring potatoes? As a friend once said, "Pink Bicycle is never quite as good as you want it to be."

VERDICT: If you're not lining up for the soup, there's little reason to be lining up.

Palagio Pizza | Frnt-2637 Quadra Street | 250.920.5550

2010-11-18T10:27:00.000-08:00

Burger
$5

add $1 for cheese
50¢ for onion ring

In terms of burger deals, it doesn't get much better than this, pricewise, in Victoria. There's the $6 burger and beer at the UVIC Grad Lounge on Mondays, but that's about all that comes close to touching this Palagio deal. $2 burgers at the sports bar on Quadra are long gone, and the $1 burgers from the defunct shop I can't remember the name of that was on Langley Street, are now no more than whispers on the wind. Of course the measure of a deal is more than price alone, so lets get into the real metrics of this Palagio offering.

The taste of the patty in this unit is hard to pick out upon first bite, but the texture sure isn't. What we have here is a sort of Frankenstein's monster, or maybe some other modern monster, I don't know, pick your favourite—it probably applies. What I mean to say is the texture and flavour is an odd hybrid of Harvey's and Chinese-Canadian burger styles: a little sausagey, a little gelatinous. I can't say it's all that appealing, but the flavour is so buried under everything else that it hardly matters in a burger this cheap.

The toasted white kaiser was surprisingly fresh, and certainly much appreciated. Adornments were your standard burger fare: shredded lettuce, tomato, burger pickles and mayo. The onion ring I added gave the burger a pleasant crunch, and probably saved it from being a little too drab. Overall a little weird, but not totally terrible.

VERDICT: They sure do give you a lot of fries. The burger, however, is not tasty enough to make this the incredible deal it would appear to be.

New Blog Theme Song

2010-11-16T12:14:00.000-08:00

I promise I'll post a new review again soon. Until then, here's some classic hillbilly music from Columbia Records.

JACK FM Burger Poll Results

2010-10-27T21:30:00.000-07:00

Here they are:

3rd Place: West Coast Taphouse - "The Chophouse Chilli Tomatillo Cheese Burger"
2nd Place: Canoe Club - "Canoe JACK FM Burger"
1st Place: Loghouse Pub - "The Yukon JACK Attack Burger"

Can't be too mad at this. Spinnaker's probably deserved a spot in the winner's circle though.

Dear Pig BBQ Joint:

2010-10-27T21:29:00.000-07:00

Pulled Pork Poutine Burger. Think about it.

Thank you for contemplating my request.

Sincerely,

Donald

Habitat Cafe | Grant Building | Royal Roads University | Colwood

2010-10-27T21:03:00.000-07:00

Hatley Park Burger
$9.50

Uggh. I'm so tired of burgers like this. Why do I even bother anymore? Why can every little league concession stand in the CRD pump out enjoyable burgers from cheap, pre-fab patties, yet no one else can? Also why does nearly every earthy-dearthy greeno-beano restaurant insist on using whole wheat buns. You're not fooling anyone anymore. There's nothing inherently earth-friendly about whole wheat buns. Also they are dry as fuck at least 95% of the time.

By now you can likely tell I wasn't sent into space by this burger. The bun:burger ratio is a boondoggle, as most of the other burger flavours are usurped by bready banality. Are there actually mushrooms on this thing? Could have fooled me, because you sure as hell can't taste them, and that's not because this is an expertly balanced product. The bacon? It has a texture akin to melted marbles. The patty itself is a below average pre-fab that is not particularly salty or sausagey (which most similar patties are). Salty and sausagey are not necessarily great qualities, but in patties such as these, they are often necessary, because without them there isn't much else.

This wasn't an inedible burger, and it wasn't among the ranks of the worst I've had; it was just lazy and boring. I've had some mediocre post-secondary cafe burgers, and this one from Royal Roads doesn't exactly buck the trend.

VERDICT: Higher learning=lesser food. It's a sad fact we intellectuals face.

ps. Apologies for the lack of updates lately. I've been a combination of busy/lazy, and that has resulted in the slow down. Also the only potentially interesting burgers left in town are lunch burgers, which I don't always have time to get to. I do hope to try Willie's Bakery and Mole soon. Also expect a review of the Palagio Pizza cheap-skate burger coming soon.

JACK FM Burger Poll.

2010-10-08T18:05:00.000-07:00

Just noticed this via the Good Food Blog. Stomping on Black Press territory; JACK has teamed with a bunch of, mostly pub-style, restaurants to set up a best-of-our-catchment-area burger poll.

Here's the list of contestants:

Barb's Famous burger
Canoe JACK FM burger
Original Joe's Sicilian burger
Ric's Grill Pull Lamb Shank burger
Spinnakers Highland Beef burger
Westcoast Taphouse Chophouse burger
Podium Sport Grill Linden burger
Station House Pub Cheeseburger
Loghouse Pub Yukon JACK Attack burger

I haven't been to half of these places (Ric's, OJ's, Taphouse, Station House), but I think I can say with confidence that the best burger in the CRD isn't on this list. There are some good joints listed here though: namely Loghouse (I have faith, even though it's been two years since I last visited) and Spinnakers.

This is just round one, however, which hopefully means new challengers will appear in subsequent rounds (though I expect round two is more likely to be the round one list parred down).

The JACK site seems to be set up so only members of their fan club can vote in this poll. Judging by replies on their Facebook site; JACK listeners know zip zero about island burgers. Seriously, the first two replies mention the A&W vege burger and the Famous Shameless at Redd's Pub. Don't be surprised if McDonald's wins the poll as a write-in candidate.

Kennedy Kitchen Lab

2010-10-06T18:00:00.000-07:00

The Fatty Elvis

Some say gluttony is a sin, but I say the Fatty Melt is a gift from God. You might call your mom's mashed potatoes "heavenly", but nothing really gets you on the fast track to the afterlife like a sandwich containing enough calories to keep a rowing team going for a month. God wants to be close to us. He's lonely up there in that big ol' blue sky with Robin Williams whining everyday about his wife being in hell. THERE'S A PRICE FOR SUICIDE FUNNY MAN. What I'm trying to say is; God needs some new pals up there, that's why he gave us a sandwich that can kill.

As a creation of man, not God, there's no way the Fatty Elvis could ever be as good as the Fatty Melt. Perhaps it isn't a heavenly meal, but the FE is at least on a purgatory+ level.

The extreme awesomeness of peanut butter and beef together was established long ago. Even the idea of using Elvis' favourite sandwich fillings to accent a burger isn't a new idea. Dangerous Dan's in Toronto has been doing it for years, and closer to home; Pink Bike did a variation on the Elvis Burger back in summer.

What made my Fatty Elvis adventure good? The delicious, yet underutilized, coupling of beef and peanut butter for one. After that, it's the same things that make the Fatty Melt a triumph of biblical proportions: mostly the melty, gooey fun of the thing. However, whereas the Fatty Melt puts you on a heavenly plane which is generally unattainable from just eating a regular cheeseburger with no condiments or other accouterments; the Fatty Elvis does not. Although it's nice, a regular burger with peanut butter and fried banana would likely be more enjoyable.

There is one other thing the Fatty Melt does for you that the Fatty Elvis does not: make you tired. The Fatty Melt tends to put one in a blissful, sleepy stupor: as if there's nothing else worth staying cognizant for after eating one. The Fatty Elvis, though fun, just doesn't create that same enchanted numbness. A nice experiment, but still an imitator at heart.

Willows Galley Redux

2010-09-24T17:49:00.000-07:00

Willows called and I answered. A couple weeks ago the new manager at Willows Galley, using the tantalizing information that supermarket quality beef had been kicked out the door, endeavoured to lure me back to this Estevan Village eatery. Yes beef from Slater's is now employed in this unit, but not in the way it should be.

I wasn't paying close attention to the kitchen, so I can't confirm my suspicions, but this patty was almost definitely pre-frozen. There's no other way to explain the texture and the confounding lack of dynamism. Pretty disappointing as I have enjoyed other burgers made with meat from Slater's.

It's been over two years since I last visited Willows, but I can say with some certainty that the rest of the unit hasn't changed much. There is possibly a new bun supplier, but if there has been a change, it's minor. The main condiments are still burger relish and mayo, and they still work well in this unit. Unfortunately the beef remains the weak link. If they are indeed using frozen, a switch to fresh would instantly remedy this situation. Much like it was two years ago, this burger is just a step away from being an excellent take-out option.

VERDICT: If you're not a little league ballpark burger stand, you have no business using pre-frozen beef (or anything that tastes like it).

Fat Phege's | 134-560 Johnson Street | 250.383.3435

2010-09-11T15:09:00.000-07:00

Deluxe Burger
$4.50

Editor's Note: Please enjoy this review from our sporadic correspondent Ed Sum of Two Hungry Blokes. I'm surprised this burger wasn't completely lambasted by Ed, as I'm fairly sure I've seen patties microwaved at Phege's before (though I can't confirm this practice 100%).

Standards have to be relaxed when buying any meal from a window. That's what I figured when I visited Portland, Oregon, and heard about Voodoo Doughnuts and its infamous red door. I assumed that's where one purchased the doughnuts, but that's not the case. It's just a landmark to identify where one can buy Voodoo's tasty treats. Through that red door lies the opportunity to peek into the kitchen and smell various sugary delights. And no, I didn't get a chance to try their famous doughnut burger. It wasn't on the menu that night, otherwise I would have OD'ed on sugar and protein.

But there are imitators too. Back in Terra Victoriana, Fat Phege's storefront from inside Market Square has a yellow awning and decor that is strikingly reminiscent of Voodoo Doughnuts. At Phege's, however, it's fudge not doughnuts that are the claim to fame. I gave this place a whirl because I was looking for a quick bite before a Fringe Festival show. I settled on the deluxe burger. All deluxe meant was slapping lettuce and tomato onto a bun and charging extra for it (editor's note: this is standard at a lot of lunch counter style eateries). It really wasn't worth the $4.50 they asked, and I wondered if this burger could be improved with some sugar too. Fudge and a hamburger definitely do not mix. Hot dog condiments and a burger do, and I found what I ate okay after treating this mooer more like an oinker.

While there's a distinctly grilled taste, the burger patty was by no means cooked fresh: it was ready within three minutes of ordering. Fast food comes really fast here, but what stood out for me was that I actually tasted something in the meat. It wasn't bland, and the added sauerkraut, spot of relish, and heap of white onion helped liven up what most would consider a dead burger. I just have to wonder if there's a market for hamburger being served with cabbage (editor's note: pickled cabbage is going to be the new tomato slice soon, mark my words)? That's a taste challenge I could handle, and there may well be more Central European style cravings begging to be discovered. Where they'll take me next will depend. Cabbage soup anyone?

Ed
-- "Dancing within the Cosmic Divide that is called Life."
Folklorist, Amateur Egyptologist and Freelance Writer

New Management at Willow's Galley

2010-09-06T18:13:00.000-07:00

Received this message a couple days ago:

Hello burger bloggers,

I just wanted to take a second for a shameless plea to come try out the burger at Willows Galley in Estevan Villiage again. It`s been a while since you guys tried it out, we are under new management and I think things have improved since you were last here. The beef is from Slaters First class meats down the street and it is seasoned to perfection. We also use real cheese and no longer precook our burgers to be kept warm in a steam table for service.

Anyhoo,I know I`m not the first person to beg you for a visit it`s just that everytime I hear about your review I die a little inside. That`s all, no biggy.

Luke Roberts,
Manager - Willows Galley

I'll try and to a redux sometime in the next week or so.

Bistro Cache | 7120 West Saanich Road | Brentwood Bay, BC | 250.652.5044 | http://bistrocache.ca/

2010-08-29T13:46:00.000-07:00

Hamburger

$12

Seniors: they want you off their lawns, they enjoy parking in intersections at the first sign of an ambulance, and they probably like this burger. As my dining partner Mr. Brendan Kergin suggested while we dined at Bistro Cache—only old people enjoy food this bland.

I was turned on to this 100-mile diet focused eatery a couple months ago by a blog reader who described this burger as, ". . . cooked perfectly, with a bit of pink in the middle, and soooo juicy." Such was not the case when I sampled it.

This is a smaller burger, probably in part because it shrinks a little during the flame-grilling process. That same process gives the patty its only strong flavour, and a slightly leathery exterior as well. The interior was about as juicy as your average burger in Victoria, which is to say not very. It certainly wasn't juicy enough to warrant spelling so with four o's. As for pinkness? Not even close: this one's all brown.

Taken as part of the overall package, the flavour of the patty was essentially unnoticeable. Even separately, this beef was strikingly lacking in boldness. I don't know if something in the aging process or style of grilling is to blame (I'm not sure what they grill with, but perhaps using Applewood or something similar would make a difference), but this is pretty boring beef. Certainly not what I expected from grass fed Cobble Hill steers. There is a subtle, clean taste that lingers within the patty, and is rather nice, but its impossible to find once it's slapped between a bun. You'd have better luck locating a duck in a dirt tunnel.

The crusty bun, however, is great if you nibble on it separate from the burger. It has a light, fresh feel that is rather pleasant. It would actually be a wonderful fit if their was a single taste bud tickler in this unit. The only thing that comes close to transforming this burger from food to meal is the saffron mayo.

When you are lucky enough to get a bite of this burger with a generous glob of the wonderful condiment, you really start to see some potential. The saffron mayo is like a kiss from Tinkerbell, and helps separate the flavour of the beef from the rest of the package. That separation allows for just enough dynamism to create a pleasant, albeit shy, burger. Unfortunately, the saffron mayo is used so sparingly that you rarely experience this sensation. Instead, the toasted bun acts like a sponge to a spill—removing any evidence to your tongue that the mayo ever existed as part of this package.

The overwhelming trend throughout our lunch was a feeling that we weren't tasting anything. As Kergin said, even the onion confit was indistinguishable within this burger. Maybe we caught Bistro Cache on a bad day, but I've had few other burgers that have had such a lack of affect, positive or negative, on my senses.

VERDICT: Not far from paper on the flavour excitement scale.

Blue Fox Cafe | 919 Fort Street | 250.380.1683

2010-08-25T19:12:00.000-07:00

Gourmet Beef Burger
$12

Sometime around. . . ohhhhhh I don't know when, everyone and their dog (dogs barbecue A LOT) started using a BBQ sauce/chipotle mayo condiment mix on their burgers. When I say everyone, I mean an overwhelming number of local restaurants. This has, as many regular readers know, caused much kvetching from yours truly. That's why it's so nice to see a place finally get the mix right.

The green apple BBQ sauce and smoky chipotle mayo in this package cavort together in a way I never knew possible. These condiments compliment each other superbly, and never overwhelm the rest of the unit, as other BBQ sauce/chipotle mixes so often do. The placement of the BBQ sauce is key here, as it is lovingly tucked underneath a blanket of smokehouse bacon, and cheddar and Monterrey jack cheeses. The cheeses are melted to the point where they almost look baked, and their placement helps keep things in check. Apple and cheese flavours go together better than apple and bun: this BBQ sauce wouldn't have the same impact if it was just lingering on the sidelines.

As for the stumpy cracked wheat bun—it's not nearly as atrocious a match for a burger as you'd expect it to be. It may be a little small for the patty that busts out from beneath it, but at least it's fresh and chewy.

The patty itself has a texture and taste that suggest Blue Fox ain't shy with the salt. The strands of beef are not visible as individuals here, but instead form a tight unit that emanates sausagey flavour undertones. The patty does not lean strongly to the flavour of any one seasoning though. Instead it is supported by the comforting, greasy flavour all burgers should have. It's no juice-bomb, but the obvious glut of salt doesn't desertify this lean beef either.

As the flavours and textures intertwine, what you get at Blue Fox is an interesting amalgamation of both pub and hippie styles. Essentially the cafe has tinkered with pub-style just enough to create a burger that overcomes the banality of that genre, without getting too daisies in the barrel about it. Good job.

VERDICT: Blue Fox has single-handedly proven the BBQ sauce/chipotle mayo trend worthwhile. It takes a pretty good burger to do that.

White Spot Giveaway

2010-08-23T11:47:00.000-07:00

Message to White Spot PR: Don't send promotional material via Purolator. I would have used this giveaway to help you promote Pirate Pak Day, which helps support Zajac Ranch, but I didn't get your package until today.

Purolator only makes ONE delivery attempt. Couriers deliver during the day, when normal people are either working, at school, or sleeping. I miss courier deliveries 100% of the time, and going to pick up packages in person is a pain in the ass. At least UPS lets you sign a little note saying, "Just leave that package in the bushes mang, I'll find it."

So yah, I wasn't able to pick up this exciting White Spot giveaway package until today, but I have it now, and you dear reader could benefit!

Here's what you have to do in order to win a $25 gift certificate and two coupons for free Pirate Paks: send me a picture depicting burger history in Victoria, or proof that you have donated to a B.C. charity in the last three months (vicburgers@gmail.com). Most impressive example of one, or both of these things, wins the whole shebang, which will be sent to you via some method other than Purolator.

Get to it Prize Pigs! Picture or proof gets you free White Spot! Exclamation marks!

ps. Despite the frustration in not getting this in time to promote Pirate Pak Day, I would like to thank White Spot for providing the blog with this prize.

Burgers of Our Lives: Archival Material From the Times Colonist

2010-08-22T12:25:00.000-07:00

I've made reference to the Times Colonist's best island burger article before, but now, having searched Canadian Newstand, I have the full thing.

So now, from May 5, 2004, I give you the Times Colonist Readers' Choice picks for best burger on the island:

1. J & L Drive-In, 4422 Gertrude St., Port Alberni
2. George's Food Bar, 540 Comox Rd., Courtenay
3. Shakie's Drive-In, West Coast Rd., Jordan River
4. White Spot (multiple Island location)
5. Dockside Cafe, 453 Head St., Victoria
Notables: Dutch Bakery, Victoria; Spitfire Grill, Sidney; Willow's Galley, Victoria; John's Place, Victoria; Ferris' Oyster Bar and Grill, Victoria; Monkey Tree Pub, Victoria; "The Stand" at the ferry terminal on Pender Island; Blue Fox Cafe, Victoria; Genoa Bay Cafe, Genoa Bay; Pluto's, Victoria.

I believe Shakie's and Dockside are both gone now. Genoa Bay Cafe exists, although in a different incarnation. I'm sad to say White Spot is the only place I've sampled in the top five. As for the notables; the Pender Island stand, and the Blue Fox are both good picks. It's hard to criticize this list much, because I wasn't familiar with many of the burgers back then. Also, most of my current favourites didn't exist in 2004.

It is, however, quite easy to blast the tasting panel results that accompanied this article. The burgers for that list seem to have been picked essentially at random. Eric Akis, the writer of the article, says he thought it would be interesting to allow the panel to compare, ". . . a chain restaurant; a diner where you would expect to get a good burger; and a fish and chip shop, where burgers are not the focus."

Here are the results:

1. Fairfield Fish and Chips, 1275 Fairfield Rd., Victoria
2. Milestone's, 812 Wharf St., Victoria
3. Pluto's, 1150 Cook St., Victoria

The article makes it clear that the tasting panel (consisting of Akis, Chef William Haysom, and Laura Agnew—a caterer, and the creator of "As you like it" brand sauces) only went to Milestones, Pluto's, and Fairfield Fish and Chips in their quest to find the best burger on the island. I get that the TC has a budget, and that means they aren't going to go to a dozen places to find a winner, but it would be nice to know that some thought went into narrowing the tasting panel field down to these three choices. Why Milestone's, which isn't a burger chain, and not Red Robin? Why Pluto's over any other diner? In fact Fairfield is the only place Akis gives a reason for picking, saying people have told him it's the burger be-all and end-all for years.

I realise it's kind of fucking lame to be critcising a list that's over half a decade old. I mean who cares right? I pretty much only succeed in looking like some sort of dickhead burger curmudgeon. This is a part of our city's burger history though, and I think it makes sense for this blog to comment on it now, seeing as we weren't around six years ago. Also I'm a dickhead burger curmudgeon.

And I mean seriously, how do you name Milestone's the number two burger in the city, after Haysom says the patty looks like it was mixed in a machine. This doesn't exactly lend integrity to your list.

This quote probably sums up the uselessness of the tasting panel list the best though, and is a telling comment on the nature of burger expectations in Victoria at the time, "Unlike the other burgers we tried, Fairfield Fish and Chips meat patties were also juicy and tender and would have been delicious all on their own." There you have it: a list of the best burgers in Victoria, and only one is juicy. Fucking unbelievable.

Pig BBQ Joint: Get in My Belly Burger

2010-08-20T15:00:00.000-07:00

Get in My Belly Burger
$11

The latest in a parade of great burgers to step out of the Pig kitchen; the GIMBB isn't the best I've had here, but it's still wonderful.

This burger appears to be a slight variation of the pork belly and egg burger Pig served as a special in July. The GIMBB is egg-free, but it keeps the pork belly and rests everything on a raft of beets and bread and butter pickles. This combo allows it to function as a sort of bizarro-world Aussie burger.

In place of the dijonaise that adorns many of Pig's burgers, the GIMBB has a sort of thin cheese sauce accented with creaaaaaaaaaammmy chunks of . . . I ate it so fast I wasn't even able to pinpoint the variety of cheese.

So not as good as the Beale Street Bully, or the Scramburglar, but still a worthy addition to the Pig stable. I ate this burger on Thursday, and it should be noted that the following day they also had a burger special (the Bacon and Blue Cheese). Two Pig burgers in one week?????????? EXCITING TIMES PEOPLE!

EdGe Restaurant, Sooke, 6686 Sooke Road, 778.425.3343, www.edgerestaurant.ca

2010-08-14T14:57:00.000-07:00

Burger
$9
(Lunch Only)

Never has an island burger been sought after with more eager anticipation than this offering from Edge Restaurant in Sooke. I first heard of it just over a year ago, and have been aggravatingly close to making the trip to Sooke countless times since then. So you can imagine the wave of boyish glee that came over me when a former bakery baroness from my past offered me a ride to EdGe, along with her shadowy real-estate photographer friend.

Now is where I'd try to place this burger review in some sort of hackneyed murder-mysteryesque plot line if I had any energy, but I don't, so I'm just going to review this thing and you can make up your own story (involve Perry Mason if you can).

If nothing else, Chef Edward Tuson, formerly of Sooke Harbour House, is an innovator in the realm of burger geometry. With this offering from EdGe, he's created the first one of triangular shape I've ever encountered (a friend who is a sheet metal worker gave him the mould). Aside from being interesting to look at, I'm not sure the triangle shape lends much to this package.

If anything, the need for the patty to be elongated in order to fit the bun from 6-Mile Bakery may hurt this unit. The combination of toppings, along with the thin patty, make this package behave more like a sandwich than a burger. Shredded lettuce, unmelted swiss cheese, and housemade pickles and salami (housemade bacon would usually adorn this unit, but I suppose Tuson's pigs are still growing) are the main culprits in creating the confusion. I suppose it's good to be challenged by a burger every once in a while, but I really went in expecting instant gratification, and that's not what came.

What appeared to my tongue to be a cumin-heavy, Indian inspired spice blend in the patty dominated the flavour of the burger as a whole. In this sense, it was actually somewhat similar in taste to what Sauce offer. The spicing of the patty made the beef behave a little like large crumbs bonded together by just a little fat. It was fine, but I was expecting something with a bolder impact.

Though I wasn't bowled over by this burger, its construction easily showcased Tuson's skill as a chef. Pull a pickle out of this package and eat it separately and you'll notice an intense sweet, vinegary flavour. When mingling with the other ingredients though, the pickles surprisingly lack dominance. This is an obvious example of the chef's ability to balance strong flavours.

Maybe I was just so worked up about this one that I couldn't appreciate it properly. A second date could prove to be a different experience, but on first pass this one wasn't worth the sleepless nights. I expected at least one person in our group to scream out, "THIS IS THE BEST BURGER I'VE EVER HAD!" and that never happened. Oh well, at least the soup was great.

VERDICT: A really nice sandwich, but only manages to be good as a burger. Good works elsewhere, but a chef such as Tuson is capable of better.

Pig is All

2010-08-14T11:21:00.000-07:00

Unfortunately I didn't have my camera with me, but I was lucky enough to sample the Beale Street Bully Burger at Pig yesterday. It was an absolute triumph: topped with fried bologna, Pig onion "rings", and coleslaw. I don't want to be too reactionary, but even with the bun breaking apart like an arctic ice flow, this is a serious contender for #1 burger in Victoria. I'm so sorry I couldn't capture it on film, but maybe a cellphone pic will eventually appear on Pig's twitter feed.

Speaking of the twitter feed, this special was not mentioned on it yesterday. Perhaps this is an indication that their fabulous burgers are about to become even more elusive. Fridays and Saturdays seem to be usual burger days, so keep that in mind if you're making a trip to Colwood anytime soon.

THESE BURGERS ARE A MUST!

Random Roadtrip Burger Notes

2010-08-08T16:43:00.000-07:00

A few places spotted while on vacation a couple weeks ago:

Beachside Burger in Greenwood, BC

A shack parked alongside highway 3, didn't actually get a close look at it. Didn't appear to be anywhere even remotely close to a beach.

3 and 93 Dairy Bar

At the junction of highway 3 and highway 93. Boasted "BC's Best Burgers". Somehow I find that hard to believe, but maybe I'll be back there someday to check it out.

Kokanee Cove Neighbourhood Pub (aka Moyie Pub in Moyie, BC)

For $10 you can get a burger made from steak trimmings ground in house. I tried to order one, but they were out. Lot's of old booze bottles scattered around the place as ornamentation. Pretty cool place really.

Pig BBQ Joint | Colwood | #304 - 1913 Sooke Rd Colwood Corners Plaza | 250.590.8034 | www.pigbbqjoint.com

2010-07-24T21:39:00.000-07:00

Scramburglar
$11

The peacocking of the kitchen crew sent my heart a flutter, "I think this is the best burger we've made." With those words I knew I had picked the right date to finally catch up with a Pig burger special. Yes, I'd tried before, but this was the first time I wasn't late to meet the little lady (and the first time I chose not to rely on a driver to bring me here).

Although I reached Pig little more than an hour after the tweet went live, I was fraught with anxiety. You see Pig burgers have a reputation. They sell out VERY QUICKLY (as Brendan will tell you later). I decided to order immediately, and I attacked this one with gusto—my meal being long finished before Brendan even arrived for our rendezvous.

I don't know how anything can be better than a Fatty Melt, but I imagine the kitchen was damn close to the mark when they made their boastful comments about the Scramburglar. This treasure is topped with scrambled eggs (with cheddar and banana peppers), onion straws, and Pig's signature sauce. The bottom bun is swamped in bread and butter pickles and a sort of dijon aioli (and not swamped in a bad way).

The patty is good quality meat that is not over-seasoned, but definitely has a flavour unique to Pig (mostly black pepper and . . . maybe a little paprika or something similar?). Not overly juicy, but enough juices are present to enhance the experience. Do the juices and all that sauce make the onion straws soppier than a used bathing suit? NOPE! The architect has done a good job here, 'cause they hold up nicely.

We were also lucky enough on this day to sample the new buns on show at Pig (supplied by Rising Star). These are WAYYYYYYY better than the weak-links they previously employed—we're talking chewy buns here people. Thank god they finally made this change, because it was long overdue. I expect the enjoyment of pulled pork sandwiches to improve by 47%.

I've said it before, and I'm sure I'll say it again: there is no other restaurant in Victoria pushing forward our burger culture the way Pig does. Not bad for a place that refuses to make burgers a regular menu item.

KERPPPPPOWWWW BRENDAN KERGIN OF BRENDAN'S BEER ADVENTURES CHIMES IN!!!!!!!!!!

Nodding awake around noon today meant I could basically run right off to Pig today to meet Don. Pig had only been open a little over 2 hours, but he was certain the new Scramburgler would be a hot star on the menu, and with a limited amount, the cook shack might sell out before afternoon tea.

Well, Dons a burger prophet. Mine was the 6th or 7th one left. Yes; by 2:30 in the afternoon this creation would officially be deemed extinct (meaning it actually sold out closer to between 1:30 and 2:00). Luckily, that's just around my breakfast time.

Ok, so this burger is all over the place (in a good way). The bun is just big enough to hold everything in place at first, and it's not a small bun. The scrambled eggs with cheese are definitely my highlight here, as the headlining flavour. Falling all over the place like spongey goo; it might not be the prettiest thing, but I orally vacuumed this: the eyes weren't on it for too long.

The Scramburglar is balanced nicely with the pickles, tomato and sauce all adding a bit of sweet to the salty. The bun and patty are good, but they're taking a back seat in this one, while the onion straws add texture as pieces sneak out. Though it's a little steep for me price-wise—it's still got lotsa bang for its buck.

VERDICT: We have a winner.

The Keg Steakhouse | 3940 Quadra Street | 250.479.1651

2010-07-20T13:12:00.000-07:00

Mini Burgers
$10 (?)

Basically Veneto with none of the personality or flair. You can survive without flair, but not without personality. You get three burgers here—just to clarify for those with counting problems (we'll cure numericus perplexicus someday!). One is draped in Swiss cheese, another in blue cheese sauce, and the last in BBQ splork.

Keg wins points for at least serving what appears to be house-made patties in their minis (and using higher quality beef than you usually find at a chain restaurant). Even the ciabatta bun used to house each mini is not nearly as detrimental to enjoyment as a ciabatta usually is—here the buns are soft and the patties have been formed into ovals to allow for better symmetry.

So with two major factors going pretty well for The Keg, why do these minis remain so banal? Well just look at them: they're lazy. Lazy is often fine if it just means sticking to the generally accepted burger blueprint (lettuce, tomato, mustard, mayo etc.), but even that requires some thought.

Swiss cheese is like any given awards show performer: you better sexy up the stage around her, 'cause she don't sing sultry enough on her own. And BBQ sauce—don't even get me started. The blue cheese sauce is more-or-less good enough to stand on its own, and thankfully rises a little above the blahness of its brethren. The other two really are little more than works in progress though, and that's a shame.

VERDICT: Veneto is well worth the extra cash.

2abpsslcpooassb Reviews Glendale Gardens Nourish Cafe

2010-07-20T13:05:00.001-07:00

2abpsslcpooassb just posted a review of a place I've been meaning to go to ever since Christabel of The Little Piggy mentioned it at the Burger Bash (one of her former employees co-runs the place). Unfortunately 2abpsslcpooassb was decidely more underwhelmed by the Glendale Gardens offering than Christabel was. I agree that using a focaccia loaf for a burger bun is just about one of the dumbest decisions you can ever make, but I trust a recommendation from Christabel so I'll give this one a try eventually.

New Burger Cart in Qualicum

2010-07-19T15:07:00.001-07:00

I don't know Qualicum Bay very well—so I'm not sure exactly where it is—but a new cart called "Bugaboo Burgers" has just opened up. It's location is 6010 West Island Highway, and Google Maps doesn't appear to show much there other than a couple of motels and rv parks. Qualicum Bay Resort is in the area too, so I suppose it might be safe to assume that this place is operating somewhere in the campground. Whatever, and wherever, it is, it's only open seasonly. Send pictures and info if you've got 'em!

Desperately Seeking Sooke

2010-07-18T19:50:00.001-07:00

The Edge Restaurant in Sooke recently updated its website, and it now includes a picture of this infamous burger that I have yet to try.

Fucking homemade bacon—comes with fries, salad, or soup and is ONLY $9. Somebody drive me to Sooke already, it's driving me insane that I haven't tried this yet.

Best of the City 2010

2010-07-18T14:09:00.001-07:00

Editor's Note: Thanks to Pedro for the quick response to my call for info on this.

Not much to report here—as the list is almost exactly the same as the 2009 version—but we'll give'er a run through anyhoo. Here's the Black Press list of best burgers in Victoria for 2010:

1) The Pink Bicycle
2) Red Robin
3) White Spot

So White Spot and Red Robin switch spots, and otherwise the list is exactly the same. It says a lot about burger culture in this city when our residents can only name one local business when trying to determine Victoria's top burger spot. The Pink Bicycle is essentially the only "burger joint" in town. Because, as a whole, other restaurants don't make burgers marquee menu items; The Bike is the first place to come to the mind of most residents.

This is to take nothing away from The Pink Bicycle, which on a good day makes one of the best burgers in town, it's just unfortunate they don't stand in better company on this list. I like Red Robin and White Spot as much as the next guy, and I'll admit Red Robin helps burger culture evolve, but there are better local restaurants.

I'm not sure it's fair at this point to list my picks for the best burgers in Victoria (because there are a number I have been alerted to recently that I haven't tried yet, and they could be top 5 contenders), but I can offer a couple of more specific lists. Here they are:

Restaurants that have made the best contributions to burger culture in Victoria
(in no particular order):

• Pink Bicycle: As essentially the only dedicated "burger joint" in Victoria, they have upped the profile of this ubiquitous menu item in the Garden City. Their commitment to using island meats—and introducing exotic specials (kangaroo burgers... although maybe those don't quite fit the traditional definition of a burger)—has helped Victoria begin to catch up to other cities.

• Pig BBQ Joint: The only place in the area to have ever served a Fatty Melt (to the best of my knowledge), and thus the only local venue keeping track of the more gluttonous side of burger culture.

• Hecklers Bar and Grill: As much as I hate monster burgers; they are a big part of burger culture. Before the Challenge Burger (or Matt's Burger) there wasn't one in Victoria. I can't stand burgers with buns the size of Galapagos turtle shells, but I have to give Heckler's credit for its contribution.

My current favourite burger bites:

• Aura: Point Burger
• Veneto: Mini Burgers
• La Belle Patate: La Belle Burger
• Pizza AllNite (our sponsor!): Burger with just about any pizza topping you desire

La Belle Patate Grill Takeover

2010-07-14T18:38:00.000-07:00

Just paling around with Nathieau Lott

Quite some time ago now I was graciously invited by the proprietor of La Belle Patate to sashay on over and make a burger or two on his grill. I got distracted by going on vacation, and the plan got put on the back burner. Then a few weeks ago I popped in for lunch, and was immediately told to get behind the counter and have some fun.

Dazed and confused.

My only previous experience on a restaurant grill was approximately ten years ago when I enjoyed a brief stint with A&W. Thus I was a little out of my element, and very worried about getting in the way.

First attempt.

I decided I'd try my hand at making a smashburger/slider of sorts. Step one: place some onions on the grill. Step two: smash a ball of meat into the onions. Finally wait a few minutes and assemble the remaining parts. In my haste to get off the grill quickly and out of the way, I completely forgot to pepper the patty, or sprinkle some salt on the patty while it was grilling. This oversight was compensated for slightly by adding Belle Sauce and mayo. I have described Belle Sauce quite poorly here in the past, so let me take another stab at it.

Nathieu listed the ingredients to me in rapid fire (running through all the ingredients in about two seconds) and I think I remember about four elements: French Dressing, Catalina Dressing, garlic, chilis. The sauce works magnificently when packaged with bacon, mushrooms, and great globs of grease in the infamous La Belle Burger.

Rubbing Belle Sauce into my second burger.

The first burger was good, but I knew I could do a little better. For my second attempt, as per the suggestion of grill-cook Oliver, I rubbed some Belle Sauce into the uncooked patty. I then used a similar smash technique, but this time using diced onions instead of sliced. The slightly sweeter diced onions where definitely a better match.

Grillin' like a villain.

Next time you order a burger at La Belle, I highly recommend you try and convince them to steam your bun instead of toast it. Nathieu threw the bun for my second burger in the steamer, and the result was a pillowy soft housing unit that was just 100% comfort.

After going with a Belle Sauce/mayo blend again in the second burger, I can safely say I would probably have ended up with a more pleasing burger if I used mustard instead of Belle Sauce as a core condiment. Belle Sauce is an absolute triumph when coupled with bacon, but doesn't reach its full potential without it. Nonetheless, this was still an incredibly juicy, pleasant burger.

I did alright here, but Nathieu, Oliver, and the rest of the staff are pros, and easily do a better job with the tools in their kitchen than I do. The La Belle Burger might be nothing out of the ordinary, but it remains one of my favourite burgers to eat in town. I'd like to thank Nathieu and the rest of the staff at La Belle Patate for giving me the opportunity to experiment at one my favourite eateries, and I hope to do so again.

FYI: Oliver of La Belle Patate recommends Blue Fox's lunch burger.

Cheeseburger Doritos on the Island

2010-07-13T11:01:00.001-07:00

Apparently Esquimalt Grocers has Cheeseburger Doritos now. I actually have no clue where exactly Esquimalt Grocers is. All my information is coming from Facebook; someone help me out here.

*edit*: They have BIG bags at Shoppers Drug Mart downtown. Cheeseburger Doritos Canadian Invasion!

Kettle Valley Station Pub | Ramada Inn, Penticton | 1070 Eckhardt Avenue, West | 250.493.3388 | www.kettlevalleystation.com

2010-07-07T13:56:00.000-07:00

Cheeseburger in Paradise
$12

You guys like the show Mythbusters right? Well I hope you do, because I am about to confirm a WHOPPER! This is going to get scientific, but follow along closely and you'll be sure to learn a lesson that will stick with you for a lifetime (or at least until bedtime). Victoria is on an island. Amongst other vegetation, there is a lot of grass on this rock. Separating Victoria from mainland Canada is the Salish Sea (or the Georgia Strait... IF YOU'RE RACIST!). On the other side of the sea/strait there is also a lot of grass. Well I have been to the other side, and I can say the grass is greener. MYTH CONFIRMED!

...well confirmed at least as far as fast-food and gambling are considered. Seriously; I swear every town in BC aside from Victoria has a KFC/Taco Bell. You know how people are always bullshitting about how their wedding day was the best day of their life? Try going to Penticton, tossing some chips around at a LAKESIDE casino, and blowing your winnings on Crunchwrap Supremes. By the end of the day, you won't even remember you're married.

For all the sybaritic pleasures of Penticton, there are some disappointments as well, and this burger is one of them. I'll give this to the Kettle Valley Station Pub though: they are masters at writing deceptive menu copy. Usually a size of over 6oz means the patty is homemade, but such is not the case here. This half-pounder is an insult to the Tiger Blue that adorns it.

Aside from Blossom's Blue, I'm not sure there's a better blue cheese in Canada, and it deserves more than a supplier patty and a dry, whole-wheat kaiser. Also, how was this cheese not melted AT ALL? There hasn't been an easier thing to melt in the history of the world since the hearts of 1940's moviegoers were subjected to Bambi. Is the integrity of the cheese hurt by melting it? No. Is enjoying melted cheese on a burger some sort of bizarre personal preference? Maybe in crazy land, but not in level-headed logical land where I live.

So in summary dear readers: the grass is greener on the other side. Unfortunately, however, this means there's always greener grass just around the corner. Do you have any idea how much I wish Burger 55 had a television with the World Cup on (so I could have dined there instead)? Of course you don't: you were stuck in an agricultural zone where nectarines aren't in season yet, while I was pining for burgers from an old tire shop. You haven't been as close to paradise as I was, but here's hoping, when you get there, you eat a better cheeseburger.

VERDICT: Supposedly the top dog at this pub really knows his Scotch... sadly the same can't be said about his kitchen's burger knowledge.

ps. If you really want a drink in town though—you should go get hyphy with the dudes at Villa Rosa. Place is swimmin' in Yukon Jack! R.I.P. Mac Dre y'all.

pps. I was trying to wedge in a comment about how women in Salmon Arm are better looking than women in Penticton, but I couldn't figure out how. At least you have this informative footnote though!

Clifton Ranch

2010-07-05T20:49:00.001-07:00

If you're ever on your way through Keremeos, this place looks like a stop worth making. I passed by Clifton Ranch on my way to Penticton this weekend with my dad, and am now sort of regretting passing this place by. Ground beef at $3.50/lb seems like a pretty dope deal straight at the gate.

Internet research shows these dudes do good work: The Countryside Canada Stewardship Recognition Program gave the ranch an award in 2004 for its work maintaining and restoring natural grasslands and associated habitat in the South Okanagan. Check out their website for more information on feeding practices, and the history of the ranch.

ps. I'll have a couple of travel burger reviews up soon.

Toronto Burger Round-Up

2010-06-24T15:47:00.000-07:00

From glitz and glam to dirt and dram; Toronto has it all! On one magical night of revere I saw a homeless guy's dick AND Miley Cyrus. Yes it's all there for you to explore in Toronto, and explore I did! You can't get as close to the stars in TO as you can in Victoria, but you can sure get close to some great burgers!

So sit back, relax, and enjoy not only the triumphant return of Guy Alaimo to the blog, but also not a single review of a place you guys recommended in the comments section (thanks nonetheless). Here we go in no particular order...

Craft Burger
Craft Spicy
$7
add $1.25 for Blue Cheese

Craft Burger shows up on a lot of Toronto best-of lists, and not without good reason. There really isn't much in the way of a weak link in this messy little dish. The Craft Spicy is in fact one of those rare burgers that is probably better WITHOUT cheese and other add-ons.

The flame-grilled patty is wonderfully textured; endless strands of beef intertwined like lover's limbs on a warm, moist night. The subtle flavour is mixed expertly with a low-medium level spicy chipotle mayo which is piled on in great globs. Unlike many other chipotle mayos, this one is far from middling (and it actually has the desired affect of tweaking pleasure zones).

The sesame seed kaiser is a perfect match for this classically styled burger too. Much like the rest of this unit, it is designed with nothing but comfort in mind.

As alluded to, there is, however, one weak link in this burger. The caramelized onions have fine flavour, but are unfortunately burdened with just a slightly mushy (as opposed to soft) texture. It's not a factor that is overtly noticeable, but it did stop the burger from reaching perfection for me.

My last thought on this one: the cheese is great, but totally unecesary here; this burger stands alone.

The Deliciously Slimming Guy Alaimo Chimes In!!!!!!!!!

Delicious. Worth the money. Every bite was like being seen standing beside good looking people that you don't know, but the people who see you think you chill with them, so they respect you more (which is awesome). Being inside Craft Burger made me feel more important. It made me feel like my existence meant something. How can you disagree with that? Craft Burger fucking delivers. The burger was probably a little more moist than I would've liked, but that could have been easily solved by putting the onions and sauce on separate sides of the bun.

Old York Bar and Grill
$10.75
add $1 for Cheese

What does a HGTV Restaurant Makeover get you? Well I can tell you what it doesn't get you: a lock on the men's bathroom door. At least there are "funky" street signs accenting the indoor dining area, and stools with no-doubt carefully ripped vinyl seats at the bar. If those street signs said "Cadillac Ave." and "Blackhawks Boulevard" you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between the Old York and your uncle's basement.

The episode of Restaurant Makeover (which just reran on the Food Network on the 15th) that features the Old York still remains unseen by my eyes, but it's clear that the team at least did enough to the menu here to keep the place open (the show originally aired over 4 years ago I believe).

The rest of the menu aside, this burger is certainly nothing worth immortalizing on the small screen. This is just a flat-out average affair. Guy said it best as we were dining, "This is the type of burger that people who don't know better would rave about." He couldn't have hit the nail on the head any better—this is an offering for the much more casual burger connoisseur.

Yes the beef is of good quality, but whatever advances it could have made were stopped dead by a bad bun:burger ratio. You know that Dizzee Rascal song where he's doing the back and forth with the girl and she says, "You were with that girl." and he says, "She was just any girl."? Well I was with this burger, and it was just any burger.

A Man With a Stunning New Asian Haircut Chimes In Lamb-Style!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuck this burger. I paid $14.95 to taste lamb. Hey guys; I know what lamb tastes like. But you're so proud of yourselves for selling a burger made out of ACTUAL lamb, that you forgot to put condiments on it. Just because you use fresh garden greens with the red spiky stuff in it doesn't mean you can get away with serving anything you fucking want to. Bottom line is this: the Old York Pub Lamb Burger is "baaaaaaah; baaaaaaah". I AM NOT A SHEEP. I am a trend-setter. I AM AN INDIVIDUAL. But I still wish I could look as good as the bartender with the V-neck hemp sweater, pendulum necklace, tight black jeans, and awesome neck beard. Never going to happen—I know.

UFO Restaurant/3 Star Food & Groceries
Bacon Cheeseburger
$5.75

Now here we have something really special. As I've said before on this blog; convenience store/lunch counters are a dime-a-dozen on the east coast, but not so much here in Victoria. In fact I only know of two, and neither is much of a gem. It's a much different story at UFO though.

You can be hard-pressed sometimes to find a pub in Victoria that serves a decent homemade patty, let alone a lunch counter. Amazingly, UFO actually gives you the option of homemade or pre-fab. I don't know why you would ever choose pre-fab, because the homemade option here is an insanely generous size for this type of establishment. If I didn't know better I'd assume the restaurant takes it name from the appearance of this saucer-like patty.

The flavour and texture of the patty is a mix of Chinese-Canadian and pub-style (verrrrrrrrry slight jelly feel, but mostly just big and beefy). When you mix everything in the package together it strays from the pub-style to a more ballpark flavour (brought on by the condiment mix of ketchup/mustard/relish). This may not be some other-worldy burger triumph (uggh what a horrible pun), but you couldn't hope for anything better from a place like this. A fun burger in a gem of place, served with loving care by an old Greek woman and a dude that looks like Manny Pacqiauo with a softer face. I wish I could eat here ever day.

Guy Alaimo Chimes In Part Three!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Being a cheap-ass, I opted to go for the regular burger which is 75 cents cheaper then the homemade patty. But when I saw the Greek grandmother unwrap Don's homemade patty, I opted to change my decision. This left me with 3 dollars to my name instead of 3.75; good enough for a single ride on the TTC, and another example of my incredible budgeting skills. The patty was very big and home-madey. The fact I was eating this thing in a convenience store while watching the world cup on a grease stained 13-inch Samsung, gave me a bulging erection. You can't really argue with a great price, a great burger, or a grade 8 erection, so why not give this place a try?

Lee Restaurant

Chef Susur Lee's Famous Cheeseburger Spring Roll
$5 (1 ticket at Luminato Festival)

Wowzers! It's like six degrees of mahfuckin Restaurant Makeover separation in this blog post! First Old York, and now a creation from frequent star of the Makeover program: Chef Susur Lee! RUNNIN' WITH THE BIG DOGS IN TO YO!

I don't believe Mr. Lee is the inventor of the Cheeseburger Spring Roll (I think that title goes to chef Doron Wong of New York), but wherever it came from it's a winner. Think upscale 7-11 taquito—a late-night snack for the lovelies. There is just enough of an Asian spice mix in this roll for it to emerge as comfort food with class. Now normally this would be a negative thing. Adding an air of distinction to parking-lot cuisine is generally incredibly pretentious, and overwhelmingly unecessary. For instance: who'd want a grilled cheese on focacia with fucking organic pesto and mead glazed, farmyard-massaged ham (oh wait, I basically just described a panini didn't I? FUCK PANINIS!).

Thankfully Lee's Spring Roll maintains a fine balance. Is the spicy mayo an essential element? Maybe not, but it does help enforce the cheeseburger theme. This would be a perfect late-night nosh if it were a little cheaper. Heck, even at this price it's a good buy. Perhaps not the original cheeseburger spring roll, but maybe the best?

OVERALL TO VERDICT: Beat a G20 protester and grab a burger! Consider a Toronto vacation today!

Toronto Burger Recommendations?

2010-06-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

Give 'em if you've got 'em cause I'm goin' today.

Also Pizza AllNite is looking for recommendations on how to jazz up their burger with new and exciting toppings or condiments. Any toppings you're dying to have available? Let me know and I'll pass it along.

Felicita's Pub | Student Union Building, UVIC | www.felicitas.ca | 250.721.8626

2010-06-13T20:51:00.000-07:00

$5.75 Wednesday Special (w/fries)
add $1 for cheese
$1.50 for bacon

Regular price burger w/fries: $7.25

A mostly flavourless bore from a place that has seen it's fair share of excitement over the years (what with people jumping off the roof and whatnot).

The grill marks on this pre-fab (likely frozen) charbroiled patty provide the only bold flavour distinction from the imposing bun in this unit. Even the bacon here is sadly devoid of any sort of salty goodness. You can tell there's some meat in this thing... but just barely. Not a terrible burger, just reaaaaallly realllllly boring—even with the glut of mayonnaise. Certainly nothing compared to the great, inexpensive pre-fab frozen burgers you can get at Pizza AllNite, or just about any local little league ballpark.

VERDICT: UVIC is certainly conducive to wild, drunken, earth-shattering parties; but its on-campus burgers lack the same raucous excitement.

Burgers WILL NOT Become a Standard Menu Item at Pig

2010-06-05T17:33:00.001-07:00

Went to Pig in Colwood today and was told that the burgers they have been serving up as specials will not end up on the static menu when the new downtown location opens (nor will they ever be on the static menu in Colwood). The reason for this being that, "If you you start selling burgers, all you sell is burgers," and that is obviously not what Pig wants to focus the majority of its energy on. I was assured, however, that burgers will be a more regular special when the downtown location opens. For now, keep checking Pig's twitter to find out when burgers are served in Colwood (it's generally once every two weeks or so).

On a completely unrelated note: holy fuck are Pig donuts incredible.

Spinnakers Redux

2010-06-05T15:20:00.000-07:00

Highland Beef Burger
$11
(add $2 each for bacon and cheese)

It's been about a year since I first sampled this superior pub burger, so last weekend I figured it was time to get reacquainted. I'm happy to say it still get's the job done.

I'm still not entirely sure the herbed foccacia is the best bun choice, but Spinnakers gets a lot of other little things right. Though it's likely exactly the same as what is used at Heron Rock (Hertel's); for some reason the bacon has a stronger flavour, and melds better with the burger at Spinnakers.

Something this burger does, that many others find impossible, is use ruffage exceptionally well. The greens are super fresh, and the pickled cabbage is an absolute revalation. The cabbage lends a sweet kiss to this burger that really makes it unique, and provides a more exciting flavour mix in the mouth. The texture of the beef might not be perfect (a smidge rubbery, as if it had been frozen, though I doubt this was the case), but this is a hard one to hate.

VERDICT: Attention given to the supporting cast pushes this one into the top tier of pub burgers in Victoria.

ps. Although Blossom Blue is my favourite cheese, I wouldn't recommend ordering it with this burger. It's great, but just a little too overpowering here.

B.C. Beef Day

2010-06-03T05:39:00.000-07:00

Hot on the heels of National Hamburger Month and National Hamburger Day in the U.S. came B.C. Beef Day yesterday! I missed it, but the provincial government announced (right here in Victoria!) June 2nd as the first annual Beef Day. If you'd like to belatedly celebrate; Pizza AllNite, Spinnakers, Pink Bicycle, Canoe Club, Nourish Garden Cafe, Bistro Cache and Heron Rock Bistro all serve burgers made with B.C. Beef.

More New Victoria Restaurant Review Blogs

2010-05-28T03:23:00.000-07:00

The local restaurant review blogs just keep sproutin' up all over the place. Your Restaurant Sucks started out with the mission of shitting on shitty restaurants, but has recently switched over to giving props to some of the better eateries in town.

Secondly its Ed Sum (of Nexus Newspaper and ghost-hunting fame) and his friend James' site Two Hungry Blokes. They just started a week ago, and already have three reviews up. The whole Asian/white guy thing gives them an almost live-action TC food blog vibe, but with more focus. Worth a read—especially if you're into sushi (Ed knows his sushi like fish know gills).

As far as the Burger Blog goes, here's what's coming up: I just quit my night job, so should soon have more time to check out some of the great Victoria lunch burgers that I have not yet become acquainted with.

...and in June I'm headed to Toronto to visit former co-conspirator Guy Alaimo. Look for some old-school style review postage in late June!

Seattle Burger and Burgerish Things Roundup

2010-05-24T19:20:00.001-07:00

Ahhhhhhhhhh Seattle: home of the Ichiroll, Electron Boy, and a heck of a lot of great burgers. Sadly I only got to eat one on my most current trip to the land of milk and honey, but one is better than none! Here's a recap:

1. Palace Kitchen
2030 5th Avenue
$15
(add $1.50 for bacon)

This puppy is rated pretty high amongst Seattle foodies, so I had high hopes pre-Palace nosh. My expectations were met (and exceeded) in some areas, but I've danced with better burgers in the Emerald City.

The Palace Burger is made using ground in-house Oregon Country Beef (of the chuck variety). I asked our waiter what grind ratio was is used, but he only replied, "the kitchen doesn't tell us these things." Which could mean one of three things: he's too lazy to pose my question to the kitchen; their ratio is some closely guarded secret, which could bring down the entire Tom Douglas empire if revealed; or, finally, the kitchen hates bald people and just refuses to talk to him about anything.

So without firm facts, I am left to hazard a guess, and I'd guess their grind is more lean than fat. The bun—which initially appears to be too big for the package, but is actually quite a nice fit—does a superb job of soaking up the juices that do appear. Given the medium-rare nature of this burger though, I found it a little too clean for my personal preference.

Aside from natural juices, the burger is served on an otherwise dry bun. This would normally pose a massive problem, but the beef is good enough here to stand more or less on its own. Without the blue cheese accompaniment it may be a little bland, but it manages quite alright with it. It may not be as good as a high quality Alberta beef, but I'd say it matches most patties I've had that use Island beef (with Pink Bike perhaps being better on a good day). The big difference here is the char that comes from cooking on an applewood-fueled grill. Really suberb flavour and crustiness around the edges.

The real winner in this package though is the bacon. Thick, crispy, succulent, worth leaving your family for—just the perfect compliment to this unit. Onion, lettuce, and pickle is served as a side to this burger, but I don't think you need it (I'm just not sure how much it would have added). Speaking brass tackily; there are better burgers in Seattle. That doesn't mean this one is bad though, it just happens to be in a class of big performers.

2. Cheeseburger Doritos (Snack Bag Size)
$1

My initial thought was, "hmmm, more cheese and sour cream than cheeseburger," but then Auggie said, "Dairy Queen," and I knew he was right. That Dairy Queen cheeseburger flavour is even more apparent when you let these little crunchers sit for a day. Their sister flavour "taco" does a better job of replicating cheap taco flavour (think Taco Time spice mix), but I can't say the cheeseburger chips don't taste a little like a fast-food offering.

A while ago I was complaining to friends that since the loss of Hostess, the potato chip market has suffered from a lack of innovation. They quickly countered that the UK is still a bastion of innovation. I guess what I meant to say is Canada lacks drive in the chip realm. The advent of the pizza-flavoured chip is now almost two decades in the past, and was BBQ Chicken all that special a flavour? What I'm trying to say is I'd like to harken back to those heady days of the late 90's where flavours like Fries and Gravy were poppin' off the shelves like jumpin' jellybeans. At least we don't have to look far to see that shining beacon of hope for the world of gluttony: America. God bless her, and God bless Doritos for continuing to be the Reese's of the chip world—few other companies have made snacking more exciting than they.

Newish Lower Mainland/Vancouver Burger Blog

2010-05-08T00:07:00.000-07:00

I have no idea what the name means, but I dig the content over at 2abpsslcpoassb Report. The writer commented here a while ago, but I didn't get around to posting about his blog until now. It's nice to see burgers other than the offerings from Moderne, Vera's, Red Onion etc. being reviewed in Vancouver. He's also done a few reviews of burgers in Victoria. Nanaimo too.

Pig Colwood Continue Burger Experimentations

2010-05-07T00:28:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I keep missing all these incredible sounding burgers. You will remember a while ago Pig served up an Aussie Burger special. Now they've added to their specials stable with a Blue Cheese Bacon Burger, and (more recently) their own version of the infamous Fatty Melt. Thank god someone is working to bring the Southern Vancouver Island area into the modern burger era. Now I just need to catch up to one of these burgers (and one of the deep fried wagon wheels they've been serving recently too).

La Belle Patate Redux: La Belle Burger

2010-05-04T21:10:00.000-07:00

La Belle Burger
$8

This is just a great garbage-pail burger. It is the strength of teamwork in burger form. Is the beef great? No. Is keeping the guts of this lard-ass in between the tiny bun a Sisyphean task? Sure. Is it one hell of a fun, pleasure centre punching eat? You bet your hindquarters.

Piled high with bacon, mushrooms, fried onions, and La Belle Sauce (which consistency-wise is kind of like honey-garlic sauce, but flavourwise is like... maybe a very subtle bbq sauce mixed with mayo... honestly I was just mowing through this one too quickly to pinpoint flavours in the sauce) this burger weighs in at close to 2/3lb. As mentioned, it is obvious from the flavour of the beef that it is of relatively lower quality, but that doesn't matter a wit in this package. Just let that grease work its way through your heart, and up to your brain where your sense of manhood can ride it like a cloud: high above all your useless brain functions like turning sunlight into vitamin d and shit. Just drink a glass of milk mahfucka!

The La Belle Burger has a simple recipe, but it's tried and true: eating fat and salt=happy. There are many other equations for finding happiness, but it's a lot easier—though perhaps equally as heartbreaking as other options—to experiment with this one.

VERDICT: Take a chemistry field trip to La Belle and you won't be disappointed.

Happy National Hamburger Month America!

2010-05-01T19:59:00.000-07:00

While we're busy waiting for lame-ass Victoria Day, Americans are doin' up the May celebrations correct with National Burger Month. I plan to celebrate by going down to Seattle in a few weeks and hopefully hitting up Lunchbox Laboratory. Happy happy!

Everyone's a Critic.

2010-04-27T21:13:00.000-07:00

A couple of boozehound friends of mine have recently fired up new blogs. Kait Cavers with Wine and Cheezies (booze reviews), and former Pub Blog leader Brendan Kergin with Brendan's Beer Adventures (pretty self explanatory, so far he's focused on BC breweries). I'm hoping at least one of these blogs devolves from measured commentary into photo-essays of piss-stained dramatic downfall.

Check 'em out!

Connoisseur Catering | 2512 Bridge Street | 250.590.3911

2010-04-27T07:39:00.000-07:00

Bison Burger
$10

Editor's note: Please enjoy this recent review of Connoisseur Catering's Bison Burger from sporadic blog correspondent Ed Sum! Must say I'm surprised to see him rave so much about the quality of this bison burger over the one at Pink Bike, considering where they get their bison, but I will admit that is one tasty looking burger. CC is serviced by Hill's Foods, which supplies Alberta raised bison.

Y'know, when one gets tired of eating beef all the time, what other choices are there? Heaven forbid that'll ever happen, but if I had a choice of either farm bred bovine, or wildly grazing buffalo—gimme the latter as a Sunday treat and I'll be in dining at Connoisseur Catering more often. Imagine my delight the first time I meandered down Bridge St. rather than sped down in my car. I had to do a double-take at the corner sign which brightly read: wild buffalo.

If I hadn't already had lunch, I'd have been in that catering shop tout suite. Two days later: part deux—I'm there. For $10, I'm very impressed with the amount of meat that is in this burger. With onions, lettuce, pickles, cheese and bacon; I loved very bite, and this eating excursion took my taste buds a bit of time to adjust to.

The burger was very good without it being fancied up. The company name had me wondering if I was to get more than just a gourmet burger. While the lettuce was kinda soggy, I didn't let that bother me as I snacked away. From eating one type of meat which is basically grain fed, to another which loves grass, the difference is easily tasted (for a brief moment the thought of Kobe beef came to mind). Gamey is hardly the word to use. I thought I was biting into a soft, meaty, hash. That texture, dripping with a mayo-like sauce, took a little getting used to. It was like these wild creatures got more than their fair share of running the range. They got the royal treatment of pedicures and shoulder rubs before being slaughtered.

I guess call me grass-roots, but I may very well stop eating beef altogether in favour for this meat instead. The way it was ground up and made into a burger was unique. Add on cheese and bacon (you have to ask for it as extras) and this burger was no wimp. I got my money's worth in sheer volume alone. Spectacular would mean having this burger with fries. I can only imagine what the chefs here would do if they weren't serving a usual crowd of men in construction hats. Pomme frites anyone? I'm not talking about the usual stuff you find at any pub. Thinly sliced frites drizzled in peanut oil, with a garlic mayo on the side and a dash of red pepper is a far better option than the Yankee french fry. With that combo, I'd be hitting this place on a regular basis for sure.

Now give me a home, right where these wild buffalo burgers roam and I'll definitely be grazing here more often. Forget about going to Pink Bicycle for their bison, I'm coming here instead! And show up early. They tend to sell out fast.

**** out of 5.

The Little Piggy on Burger Bash Part Deux

2010-04-25T01:52:00.000-07:00

Warm reminiscences can be found here.

Pig Colwood: Andrew Augustine Aussie Burger Cellphone Photo Essay

2010-04-19T18:09:00.000-07:00

Auggie took these pictures of Pig's take on the Australian classic a few weeks back. His comments to me were fairly short and sweet, "Pretty good, but the bun is fucking atrocious." Burger is topped with the standard Aussie accoutrements: fried egg, bacon, beets, cheddar, and ketchup.

I'm not sure if this is going to be added to the Pig menu as a regular special, but I haven't seen any mentions of it in their twitter feed. Let's hope it gets a recurring role, or even better—a starting position on the menu when the downtown store moves into its new digs.

Enjoy the photos.

Part of the Team

2010-04-18T20:27:00.000-07:00

OMG GUYS! I have some very exciting news to pass along! We have been recognized by the press agent for the one and only Josh Ozersky: arguably the number one hamburger authority in America (George Motz is obviously pretty dope too).

Anyway check it out, I'm so honoured to be on this mailing list:

Dear Victoria,
Hey, we thought you might have interest in our "Cheeburger Cheeburger Rant" episode on Ozereky.TV from this morning.

http://ozersky.tv/2010/04/cheeburger-cheeburger-rant/

"Returning from Chicago recently, I stopped at the Cheeburger Cheeburger outlet at the JetBlue Terminal at John F. Kennedy airport, and was immediately consumed with rancor and regret. These emotions seethed within me until, a few days later in my favorite coffee shop, they emerged in a voluble stream." --Josh Ozersky

We love The Victoria Burger Blog and would very much appreciate a link or mention!

Many thanks,
Laurie

Laurie Pila Horowitz
Field Producer & Guest Booker
www.Ozersky.TV

Thus ends our bragging about receiving a press release.

Burger Bash Vol. 2: A Journey to Joy

2010-04-12T19:18:00.000-07:00

Our leader enjoys the first burger of the night.

Well the second annual Victoria Burger Blog Burger Bash has been and gone, and despite a minor snafu, the event was full of triumphant moments. The wilting tulips behind five of the original teams all backed out of competition at the last minute, leaving Team Stranglehold alone in the field. Thankfully Ed Sum and Eric Mueller stepped up to the plate to enter main course burgers for competition. Although Stranglehold were the only competitors to enter three courses, they did a masterful job of making this contest reflect the Burger Blog's unparalleled contributions to local burger culture. Thanks to Stranglehold, the other competitors, and all the friends and fans who showed up for this great event!

Big thanks as well to Pizza AllNite and the Little Piggy who provided prizes and critique! Thanks as well to Jimmy Nguyen who took some of these pictures.

Team Stranglehold's Buffalo Buffalo Mini-Burger: bison patty topped with Louisiana Buffalo Sauce, blue cheese, and bacon.

Another view of these beautiful mini-burgers.

These mini-burgers were the grandest innovation and triumph of the night. The Burgizza was outstanding, but these puppies are restaurant ready, mouth-watering morsels that could easily beat out many local pub offerings in terms of fun and flavour.

The Rise Strangler lurks behind celebrity judge Christabel Padmore of The Little Piggy.

The Mueller Burger: beef patty infused with onions.

Celebrity judges Christabel and Paddy Padmore.

Future Thisiswhyyourefat cover-boy "The Burgizza".

A 60/40 blend of beef and Italian sausage; stuffed with mozza, salami, and prosciutto. Topped with mushrooms and green olives; served on mini pizzas.

Ed Sum demonstrates the noble art of burg-gitsu. HA PUNS.

The Sum Burger grillin' in the pit.

The Sum Burger: garlic and chili pepper infused patty topped with avocado and housed in a cheese bun.

Team Stranglehold dessert burger: The Bacon Double Cheesecake! Two cheesecake patties, a layer of maple smoked bacon drizzled with maple syrup on a blueberry scone.

Burger bashers bashin' away.

Grand prize winners Team Stranglehold!

Team Stranglehold examine their new cast-iron frying pan!

Second prize winner Eric Mueller descends into a psychedelic maelstrom fueled by prizes from the Little Piggy (garlic mayo, chili paste and special relish!)

And the night ends with a gorgeous fire; symbolising the power and unpredictability of the Victoria Burger Blog!

Final Contest Standings:

1. Team Stranglehold (Ty and Glen)
(winners of $30 gift certificate from Pizza AllNite and a 12" cast-iron frying pan)

Buffalo Buffalo Mini-Burgers
Burgizza
Bacon Double Cheesecake

2. Eric Mueller
(winner of a condiment grab-bag from The Little Piggy)

Mueller Burger

3. Ed Sum

Sum Burger

Nexus Burger Blog Profile

2010-04-03T05:37:00.000-07:00

Nexus was kind enough to help us celebrate our second anniversary by running a profile in this week's issue. You can read the profile here. Thanks to Nexus and Erin Ball.

Abattoirs and Local Meat

2010-04-03T05:33:00.000-07:00

From today's Globe and Mail: an article on abattoirs in BC. Actually quite similar to another recent article from the New York Times.

Ferris' Oyster Bar | 536 Yates | 250.360.1824 (SPECIAL 100th REVIEW 200th POST BONANZA!)

2010-04-01T02:30:00.000-07:00

Half-Pound Burger
$10
(add $1 each for cheese and bacon)

WELL WELL WELL. It would appear we have some milestones on our hands! Not only is the Ferris' burger the 100th burger the blog has reviewed; this is also our 200th post, and we recently passed 100, 000 page views! Yes, we are truly rocketing into our third year of existence with astonishing aplomb. Just check out that homemade t-shirt that says "Keep it 100 Y'all" with 100 spelled out in burgers! THE TRILLEST BURGER BLOG ON THE INTERNET. Yep, that's us. Now let's get on with this review shall we? I'm going to start with a piss story.

So I'm pretty sure a friend of mine had a big part in our fair city's decision to install all those galactic looking urinals all over downtown. Please indulge me as I share with you this stunning folk tale.

So a few years back this buddy of mine was a complete raving alcoholic. Like really bad. Like comically falling over fences, end zone spiking cellphones in fits of frustration, and suicide attempts bad. So anyway; one night he's downtown, all fucked up, and he has to take a piss. He's on Yates Street, but he probably really has no fucking clue where he is—so he enters what he thinks is the alcove of a closed business. Unfortunately for him though, this business is very much open, very much has customers inside eating dinner, and very much has a bit of a gap underneath its door. He is pissing outside the doorway to Ferris'.

As the processed 5 Star Whisky exits his body it begins to enter Ferris' and a large pool of piss starts to creep towards the feet of restaurant patrons. Eventually someone comes out and asks him what the fuck he is doing. Recognizing he has just taken a nice long piss on the floor of a busy restaurant, my friend is mortified and offers to mop up. So, all fucked up, he grabs a mop and starts cleaning up his own piss from the floor of Ferris'. And this, I believe, is why we now have downtown street urinals.

But what does this have to do with burgers? Absolutely nothing, but this is our 200th post... so we've gotta whoop it up right? Anyway, let's talk about this burger now.

It used to be Ferris' was just about always mentioned in the same breath as 5th Street whenever you asked for a burger recommendation in Victoria, but not so much anymore. I don't know if this is simply because burger culture has evolved rapidly in Victoria over the last five years, or because for a period of time Ferris' was pitching out some really dry boring patties. The last couple of times I've dined here I've been REALLY underwhelmed by the burger, but I'm happy to say the ship appears to be righting itself.

Yes the flowery shaped sesame seed kaiser (which is new I think) is rather unwieldy, and a bad match for this burger, but the rest of the package works. The half-pound patty may not be dripping with juices, but it isn't shriveled and dry either. The seasoning is simple, probably nothing more than a little salt and pepper, and the flavour of the beef is on-par with what a good burger should be. The flame-cooked nature doesn't hurt anything either.

The general construction is classic (though variations are available): house mayo, burger relish, red onion etc. compliment the package well and keep everything in balance. This burger didn't get my endorphins running like another, much greasier number did later in the night, but it still pleased me. I wish I had more to say, but that's it really. Good ingredients make a good burger. The bun doesn't work, but otherwise this is still an above average offering for our city.

VERDICT: Within the top thirty percentile I suppose.

Happy EATAPETA Day!

2010-03-15T20:12:00.000-07:00

Yes not only is it the ides, it's also International Eat a Tasty Animal for PETA day! So raid the butcher's and make a day of it!

Burger Bash Part Deux: Date Confirmed!

2010-03-13T19:53:00.000-08:00

Confirmed teams for the burger-off:

Team Auggie
Team Binakaj
Team Dean
Team Zone

There is room for one more team on this card, so contact me quick if you want in! If you can't read the poster: event is April 10th at 2929 The Rise. Starts around dinnertime. Here is a link to the Facebook event page.

I am a Solicitor

2010-03-11T19:21:00.000-08:00

The second annual burger bash is comin' down the tracks like a hellbound locomotive, and it's looking for prizes for the burger-off!

If you are a local (or even out-of-town) business owner that reads this blog, and you would like to offer up a gift certificate or other prize for the contest, please e-mail me (vicburgers@gmail.com).

I will be contacting some of you personally in the next week or two, but I figured I'd let the real philanthropists get a head start. Thanks in advance for helping to make the celebration of our second anniversary a screaming success.