Thursday, May 9, 2013

Flying Otter Grill | 950 Wharf Street | 250.414.4220 | www.flyingottergrill.com

Bad Boy Burger
$15


Like lemmings to the edge of a cliff, so to do Victorians scamper to sun-dappled patios at the first signs of summer. Except the lemmings don't eat cheeseburgers and sip IPAs at the bottom of the cliff. They explode like little rodent grenades. Or do they . . .

What if lemmings have discovered the secret to unwinged flight? They're not really committing mass suicide, they're just coastin' on some currents brah! Then when they get close to the bottom of the cliff they puff out their little cheeks and float safely to the surface. Once they're at the bottom all the furry little darlings enjoy a nice shandy and maybe nibble on some fries (twice fried, cause you KNOW that's how lemmings do brah). 

My question is: how long will it be before this evolutionary advantage is used against the humans who have laughed at lemmings for decades? HAHA YOU ALL JUMP OFF CLIFFS AND KILL YOURSELVES! DERRRRRR LERK AT MER ERM A LERMMING. Yah we'll see who's laughing when a lemming flies through your window and steals your television. WHO'S THE INFERIOR SPECIES NOW ASSHOLE!

All this musing about lemmings (Will they or won't they enslave the human race? Will they just be happy with petty theft? Is any flying rodent ever just happy with petty theft?) has me wondering: how would I feel if a lemming swooped in and stole Flying Otter's Bad Boy Burger from me? Well I'd probably yell out "OH COME ON!" and curse our intransigent government for not dealing with the lemming problem earlier, but I don't imagine I'd chase the little guy too far. 

The patty used in the Bad Boy is a better than average supplier job. Juicy enough, but with a bit of a manky flavour that often accompanies pre-fab patties (imagine what a crusty punk cow would taste like). The mankyness isn't totalllly offputting. If you eat at a lot of tourist traps you won't care (not that Flying Otter is a tourist trap). In fact you may think this is the best burger you've ever had. If you actually eat fresh, hand-formed patties though you'll be disappointed. 

I was able to slog through without it really bothering me that much. What did irk me was the co-mingling of sauteed AND raw onions. Go greasy or go fresh. Ya can't do both. It's silly. 

How does the Bad Boy match up against other patio burgers? Well it's certainly better than what Glo had the last time I was there (which was admittedly a long time ago). Better than Local Kitchen and Canoe Club though? It's been a while, but I don't think so.

VERDICT: AHHH stupid lemmings! Come back here with that bur-- ahhh forget it I'll just go somewhere else.