Sunday, March 18, 2012

Oak Bay Bistro | 206-2250 Oak Bay Avenue | 250.598.1441 |

Bart's Burger

(lunch only)

Reunited and it feeeeeeeeelssss soooooooo goooooooodddddd. Reunited eatin' burgs like we shoooooooooulllllllldddddd.

*Sigh* It feels like only yesterday Guy Alaimo and I were gallivanting around Victoria--knockin' back three burgers a day and cruising around Gordonhead without a care in the world (aside from rapidly deteriorating health, crushing loneliness and a complete lack of career prospects). We had the world on a string! A greasy, greasy string. Now Guy's on a juice diet and I'm eating salad for dinner. We've even both managed to see girls with their shirts off this year . . . and not prostitutes either! Holy mackinaw, are we turning into a couple of fuckin' frauds over here, or what? Seriously, what's going on?

Trust me dear friends--despite the lack of frequent posting here, and the fact Guy and I haven't collaborated on a post in almost a year--we are still hopelessly devoted to questionable eating habits. Anyways enough on that; we're supposed to be discussing a burger here aren't we?

I chose Oak Bay Bistro for our big reunion meal because of its notable chef, John Waller. I figured a dude who has taken home 2nd place in the Island Chef of the Year Awards probably makes a decent burger.

Bart's Burger--named after the owner if I remember correctly--may not be an award winner, but it's pretty satisfying. The style is slightly reminiscent of Aura, except OBB uses a slightly less juicy homemade patty. The patty billows forth from the tiny house-made bun like the muffin top on a girl who just refuses to commit to form-fitting jeans. It makes the package a tad unwieldy, but not unmanageable. Intermittent zings of mustard pickle make for some tantalizing bites here and there. Sadly those zings can, however, be few and far between.

The real triumph of this burger is that Chef Waller doesn't try to do too much with it. There has been many a top chef in the world who has tried to turn the burger into something it isn't. They stuff them with Foie Gras, serve them on focaccia, or make some other hoity-toity alteration to a formula that doesn't need such tweaking. I'm all for a little experimentation, but sometimes a chef just doesn't get what a burger is all about. Thankfully Waller keeps things pretty traditional at OBB, and his burger is better for it.

And now the moment you've all been waiting for . . . GUY ALAIMO CHIMES THE FUCK IN!!!!!!

The cleavage was intoxicating at Oak Bay Bistro. Not all the staff, just our waitress. Every time she leaned over to ask me if I wanted another Caesar, my eyes filled with the sight of hanging flesh banana's held together by a lacy number that was hopefully purchased at the incredibly sexy lady's confection store around the corner.

The burger is a nice effort. A mustard pickle based sauce coats the inside of a soft and slightly oiled bun, giving this juicy burger a fluffy exterior.

Though it was priced a little high, that's the cost of doing business in an Oak Bay Village breakfast establishment where you're able to look at undergrad tits. The old Blethering Place Tea Room which used to occupy the space would be disgusted!

VERDICT: A respectable effort. As good, if not better, than expected.