It may seem like little thought goes into a burger like the one at Marble Arch, but there is a very specific topping formula that burgers in this genre follow.
That formula is shredded lettuce+mayo+American cheddar+onion+burger relish. It's a simple formula, and it doesn't always work, but when it does you end up with a comfort food meal that's as classic as they come.
Thankfully the unit at Marble Arch successfully employs the well-worn formula unique to cheapskate burgers like this one. Why is it a success? Two reasons: salt and the bun. The pre-fab patty is generously salted when it's on the grill. I'm talking seriously generous. Like saying, "We'll eat me first," and then cutting off your legs and feeding them to your friends as you fight to stay alive after an ill-planned hiking trips gets you lost in the mountains for five months. Yep, it's that generous. But when you're trying to balance out the sweetness of burger relish, you need to be a little generous with the salt.
As for the bun—it's the perfect match for this unit. You take a bite and there's no resistance. You don't taste bun when you bite into this unit: you taste burger. The whole burger. That's the key. In a burger like this each bite has to hold the flavours of every part of the whole. A bite too heavy on bun and condiments will be sickly sweet. A bite with too much patty is likely to be overly salty, and texturally unappealing.
So is this the best cheap burger in Victoria? Not quite. I'm a mustard man, and therefore I prefer the burgers at Lambrick or Carnarvon Park Little League, but Marble Arch is only a whisker's width away from matching what makes those burgers great. You can't expect a burger like this to win any awards, but you can't deny there's something undeniably enjoyable about such an unpretentious package.
VERDICT: Cheap? Check. Doesn't suck? Check. Actually fun to eat for a reason other than it being cheap? Check. That's a lot of checks.