La Belle Burger
This is just a great garbage-pail burger. It is the strength of teamwork in burger form. Is the beef great? No. Is keeping the guts of this lard-ass in between the tiny bun a Sisyphean task? Sure. Is it one hell of a fun, pleasure centre punching eat? You bet your hindquarters.
Piled high with bacon, mushrooms, fried onions, and La Belle Sauce (which consistency-wise is kind of like honey-garlic sauce, but flavourwise is like... maybe a very subtle bbq sauce mixed with mayo... honestly I was just mowing through this one too quickly to pinpoint flavours in the sauce) this burger weighs in at close to 2/3lb. As mentioned, it is obvious from the flavour of the beef that it is of relatively lower quality, but that doesn't matter a wit in this package. Just let that grease work its way through your heart, and up to your brain where your sense of manhood can ride it like a cloud: high above all your useless brain functions like turning sunlight into vitamin d and shit. Just drink a glass of milk mahfucka!
The La Belle Burger has a simple recipe, but it's tried and true: eating fat and salt=happy. There are many other equations for finding happiness, but it's a lot easier—though perhaps equally as heartbreaking as other options—to experiment with this one.
VERDICT: Take a chemistry field trip to La Belle and you won't be disappointed.