Big Hurt Burger
Here's your quick bit of Podium background: it used to be a Greek restaurant, it's owned by the Gorge Point Pub dudes and the guy behind Lighthouse Brewing, and hanging on the wall upstairs is a print of an Andy Warhol painting that makes Wayne Gretzky look like a child in a bubblegum swamp. Now that you have this stunning information culled from extensive journalistic research, howzabout we move on to the review?
Does it not seem a little strange to name your signature burger after a guy that didn't exactly leave the Blue Jays on the best of terms, and never made his career there to begin with? Sure Frank Thomas is one of the better hitters of our era, but aside from one decent year in Toronto—he really hasn't given Canadian fans much. Wouldn't "Boomer Burger" have been a more obvious and appropriate name for this package? Not only did David Wells help the Jays to their first World Series; he was also a notorious over-eater.
No matter what the name though, this burger is a pretty glorious journey into gluttony. The seven-ounce BBQ-sauce (house-made) basted patty is topped with a big glop of pulled pork, and a jalapeno-cheddar infused smokie that is too hefty to fit all of itself under the bun. A steak knife is thrust through the middle of the bun—providing a rather ostentatious symbol to the people around you that you've ordered a MAN'S MEAL. My own eating prowess was in fact questioned by the waitress who exclaimed "YOU'RE GOING TO EAT ALLLLLLLL THATTTTTTTT?" when she dropped the burger on the table. The answer to her question was of course, "yah I'm going to fucking eat it all! Unlike your waify ass, I don't feel soul-crushing guilt if I consume more than a radicchio/radish salad for dinner."
I am generally not in the camp that feels polygameatous situations are to be avoided in a burger because the beef flavour gets lost in the mix. Maybe the beef does take a backseat in the Big Hurt Burger, but so fucking be it. Hot dogs are a classic burger topping, and pulled pork just makes this package all the more comforting. The textural and taste adventure that comes from sailing through pulled pork, and then piercing the greasy skin of a smokie en route to a beefy pub patty is about as good as sinful eating gets.
Rounding out the Big Hurt Burger unit is a healthy dose of house mayo, a sesame kaiser, and some burger pickles. The pickles are quite an interesting flavour addition, as they are the only part of the package that is not meaty or greasy. The little blast of flavour that the pickles provide allows this burger to keep your taste buds interested instead of simply overwhelming them with salty, greasy flavours. The Big Hurt isn't the type of burger you savour and then rave about to friends, but it is a great bit of comfort food that is bound to put a smile on your face.
VERDICT: It's a whole bunch of meat between a bun... has that formula ever failed?