Editor's Note: My sister Helen Kennedy is now an official east coast burger correspondent (at least until she comes back home for the summer). Please enjoy this review.
As a post-EATAPETA day/pre-birthday present to myself, I thought it was finally time to try the burgers at Paula’s Variety and Take-Out. I walk past Paula’s everyday on my way to school and everyday I joke about how eating there will likely cause a serious case of food poisoning. That was also my first thought upon entering Paula’s, which seemed to be filled with a haze of some sort. Regardless, Paula makes a fucking good burger.
The patties are thick and made in-house (no sign of a grinder, so I’m not sure where they get their meat). Paula (who’s about 65 years old) has perfected the art of grilling the classic sesame seed bun: just enough to stop the burger juices from making it mushy, but not so much that the bun becomes too crunchy. The burger to bun to condiment ratio was just delightful.
I do have three qualms with this burger (although all of them are minor):
1) Lettuce. Nothing matches the joy of crunchy iceberg lettuce on a burger and nothing is as much of a let-down as limp and awful lettuce that you just have to pick off.
2) Mayo. It seems lunch-counters in Charlottetown are morally against mayo on burgers.
3) Cheese. I realize my brother thinks Kraft singles are god’s gift to burgers because they melt really well, but I feel processed cheese detracts from the burger package (and would much prefer having to wait another minute or 2 to get real cheese all melty).
VERDICT: Even if food poisoning does kick in later tonight, I still stand by this review. (Editor's Note: Food poisoning did not set in.)