Saturday, October 25, 2008

Haultain Fish and Chips — 1127 Haultain Street — 250-383-8332

Plain Burger w/Cheese

I've started to notice a disturbing trend at local Fish and Chip restaurants: deluxe doesn't mean shit. Maybe I just don't understand burger lingo as much as I think I do, but to me deluxe means a major upgrade. I'm talking at least some cheese (and ideally bacon as well). Unfortunately to the menu manipulators at Haultain Fish and Chips (and Brady's as well) a designation of deluxe means you get lettuce and tomato. Is deluxe just a word used to fool yuppies into thinking they're ordering a status symbol? Because there is certainly nothing "deluxe" about lettuce. A slice of lettuce couldn't be deluxe if it wore velvet robes, dipped itself in gold, and got knighted by the queen. That being said, on to the review....

So obviously I didn't order the deluxe; I went with a run-of-the-mill cheeseburger. The bun is a chewy number akin to what is used at fellow chippery Fairfield Fish and Chips (and come to think of it, pretty much every other chippery in town) but that's where the similarities end. The patty at Haultain's is a thoroughly disappointing pre-frozen number: we're talking dryer than the back of an armadillo in Texas. Haultain's marches the usual soldiers out to deal with this problem (namely mustard, onions, and American cheese) but they don't help too much. The staff might be friendly enough to spill your guts to, but I won't be telling any secrets to this burger anytime soon.

VERDICT: Try the fish and chips, read an old National Geographic (another tell-tale sign you're in a chippery) but don't come here looking for a burger.


Richard McDevitt said...

You should try the Buffalo burger at Fifth Street Bar & Grill

dk said...

Yah I've had it a number of times, it just hasn't made it onto the blog yet.

Truthfully I think it's the most overrated burger in town, done by one of the most overrated pubs in town.

Dry bun, drowned in BBQ sauce... ugh.

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