Saturday, May 3, 2008

Sidney Pier Bistro — 2550 Beacon Avenue — Sidney, BC — (250) 655-4995

Cheeseburger
$12


I biked out to Sidney a few weeks ago in the hopes of finding a place called Big Burger. Unfortunately, despite VIHA claims to the contrary, the place didn't seem to exist. I found a closed Japanese restaurant, and pangs of disapointment in its fabled place on fourth avenue. Having already visited the infamous Woody's Grille in the past, I decided to see what else Sidney had to offer. After toying with the idea of going to the diner with all the cow paraphenelia on the walls, I decided instead to visit the pier.


The laws of the world generally dictate that anything you eat on a dock, or a pier, will taste better than its land-based equivalent. The Sidney Pier Bistro, home of an award winning chowder, should have been no different — but oh boy was it shite.

As you can see in the picture above, this burger came standard with lettuce, tomato, onion and pickle. The bun to burger ratio was fine, and the bun itself an average one. The meat was confusing though: it tasted like some sort of hybrid between a Calgary Stampede Burger and a McDonald's Sausage Patty. On paper that might sound exciting, but in practice it just fucks with your tastebuds. The whole time I was eating this I kept thinking, "What the hell is this, this doesn't taste like beef...is it beef? Did this come from a cartoon abatoire?" Perhaps this wouldn't have been so bad if they hadn't tried to jazz it up with a house mayo.

MESSAGE TO BURGER COOKS: If you're dealing with a shitty, pre-fab meat patty of questionable taste — DON'T USE HOUSE MAYO. House mayo is reserved for real meat, or at least a pre-fab that tastes like real meat. Anything else needs to be accompanied by mustard and chopped onion, with a little ketchup. Look around you and you'll see this is the standard.

Verdict: I definitely won't be going back, even if they give me 21 questions ketchup packets again.

3 comments:

Gaetano said...

stampede burger fused with mcdonalds sausage patty sounds like a dream.

im going to have to try this. it just sounds to good even if it fucks with my tastebuds.

sounds like a dream

Anonymous said...

Try 3rd Street cafe next time your in sidney.. 3rd street burger with fried shroom/onions some bacon n cheese.. loved it when i went

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